It’s Blog Post #10. Already? I’m trying to write more often and put posts up a little more frequently than when I first started. The answer to the “trick question” from Blog Post #9 is both Leonard Cohen and George Michael had a song called, “I’m Your Man.” On another note regarding Blog Post #9, the Vancouver Canucks went on a six game winning streak. My best guess is that they got angry and motivated after reading my prediction that they weren’t going to win the Stanley Cup in 2017.
And this short self promotion post begins now:
Last week saw me again post to my workplace (Vancouver Coastal Health) blog. You can read the post here:
http://vchblogs.ca/humour-healthcare-prepare-offended/
I’ve had a lot of great feedback on this one. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, many of the jokes and stories were not new. I tried to take some of the funniest jokes and stories from my blog and incorporate them into my blog post about humour for Vancouver Coastal Health. Check out the comments below the post. Like my blog, not everybody is a fan. I know you can’t please everyone and there’s always room for a different point of view.
This week saw my first travel article published. You can check it out here.
Again, I used excerpts and ideas from my blog to craft the article which gives readers tips on travel in China. It was nice to have my photos included in the post.
Aside from the published writing, it’s been a tough start to 2017. I have been fighting a cold which led to missing my workouts, eating too much (I get extra hungry when I’m sick….weird I know), missing work, and binge watching Letterkenny. For those who don’t know Letterkenny, it’s a comedy about a small Ontario town. It’s cheesy, stupid, and ridiculous! Anyone know when Season 3 starts? It’s not for me. I’m asking for a friend. So pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er.
My wife doesn’t do sick right. She continues to function. She works, works out, runs errands….she finds a way to keep going. Myself, on the other hand….I set up camp on the couch. I don’t shower for four days because a shower can make you feel better and then it becomes more difficult to keep the pity party going. Science has shown that the Man-Cold is a real phenomenon deserving of sympathy and respect. As I understand it, male testosterone and cooty receptor 4939 binds to the cold virus to produce FLED (Function-Limiting Energy Depletion) making regular daily activities impossible for the man affected. I predict that science will discover that FLED not only affects the brain and body of men but also causes a temporary shutting down of the soul.
Disclaimer: There is no cooty receptor 4939, FLED does not exist, and there is no evidence of a soul.
“I don’t have a soul. You don’t have a soul. There’s no such thing as a soul!” –Bart Simpson
The story at the end of Blog Post #9 was quite popular…or maybe everyone was just happy that it replaced the usual cheesy ending joke (although it was a joke of sorts). So with the masses having spoken, I again have a story-joke to end the blog post. It comes from a conversation I had with my wife’s grandparents, Al and Jean. They’re both in their 90s living independently. This year, they will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary. Let that sink in for a moment. Anyway, one day I was visiting them and they began asking some interesting questions. I had to think on my feet. Enjoy.
Al: “Roy, you’re a nurse. You could take out an appendix, right?”
Me: “No. I can’t do that. I have a licence and there are regulations which guide what I can do.”
Jean: “Yes but you have the knowledge and skill that if you were in a situation where you had to and/or there weren’t rules against it, you could do it?
*Now I had to really think. In an emergency, could I take out an appendix? If it was the zombie apocalypse and there was no one else who could do it, would I?
Me: “Yeah, I could take out an appendix….the person would bleed out all over table but I’d get it out.”
*Everyone laughed a little but I wasn’t done.
Me: “I’d dig around in there, reach in, and pull it out raising it way above my head in triumph yelling ‘ I got it. I GOT IT!!’…Hey why is this appendix beating?”
Bonus add-on joke (that few people will get)
Me: “And then I’d start chanting, ‘kalimaa…. Kalimaa…. KALIMAAA!’ ”
Roy G Mundheim 
Oh my non entity! I’m involuntary peeing my pants!
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