Tag: venice

Bologna Post Part 1

It’s as easy as A, B, C.. It’s Blog Post #1-2-3. My apologies for missing May’s post but there were extenuating circumstances beyond my control. My wife and I spent most of May in France, Italy, and Switzerland just to bring you this content.

Disappointment

After failing to win the vote to be Prime Minister of Canada, I decided to travel to Italy to put my name forward as the next Pope. We travelled to Venice expecting that there would be a lot of media and hype around my campaign to be the first atheist Pope in history.

Venice 2025

There was no hype. I found out later that the paparazzi had gathered to greet me but that they expected me in Vatican City, not Venice. This was my mistake and lead to me no longer being considered for the next Pope. Their loss. I would have been a Pope for the people.

France

Before arriving in Venice, my wife and I enjoyed a day and a half in Paris, France.

Notre Dame 2025

Of course we went to the iconic Notre Dame. It’s a bit surprising that even the French are getting into burning churches. For the record, I’m against burning churches. They’re often wonderful buildings with amazing architecture… it’s just unfortunate what they’re used for.

That Guy Is Crazy

There was a guy swimming the entire length of this river. Some people thought he was a hero. I just thought he was in Seine.

Paris 2025

Verona, Bahama, Come on Pretty Mama…

We travelled from Venice to Verona where we stayed a few days. Verona contains the home and tomb of Juliet from Romeo and Juliet. This seems strange to me as Romeo and Juliet is a fictional story. It would be like having grave site for Anakin Skywalker or Maude Flanders. C’mon Roy, Anakin was born on Tattooine and Maude has a grave site in Springfield.

Juliette’s Tomb, 2025

Roy-mio, Roy-mio, wherefore art thou Roy-mio?

The Prince Saves the Day

Rumor has it that there is a princess in this castle guarded by a fire breathing dragon and that one day a prince will come and save her. I briefly thought about trying to save her but then I saw an ogre and a donkey heading that way. She’s in good hands.

Castelvecchio, 2025

A Bunch of Bologna

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A Great Dave in Florence

From Bologna, we made our way to Florence. The main highlight was to go to the Galleria dell’ Accademia di Firence.

I know a lot of Daves… These are the Daves I know I know. These are the Daves I know. Some of them are David but most of them are Dave…

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Words of Wisdom

  1. Try Bolognese in Bologna.
  2. Eat Florentine steak in Florence.
  3. Skip Venison in Venice.

Thanks for reading and looking at Blog Post 123, a less than comprehensive overview of my recent trip to Europe. I suspect that there may be a part two coming soon. Stay tuned. After this serious pictorial record of travels in France and Italy, it’s time for a little humor. If you get it, you get it. Capisce? Enjoy.

I took a pill in Pisa. To show Da Vinci I was cool. And when I finally got sober, felt ten years older. But, screw it. It was something to do. I’m living out in Bari. I drive a Ferrari just to prove. I’m a real Italian scholar ’cause I made a million Euros. And I spend it on pasta and booze…

Confused? Click here.

Monu-Mental Announcements

April Fool’s Day disappointingly came and went. Fortunately, Blog Post 122 is here to make up for that day of disappointment and raise the spirits of all those who value the value of a laugh and smile. Things are going to get weird… again.

Thank you to everyone who sent and posted feedback on Blog Post 121. It was a fun write and read. Although I never laugh at my own jokes, that one did make me smirk a little.

The Big Announcement

Canada has announced federal elections to choose a new Prime Minister. I’m excited to declare that I will be running to be the next Prime Minister of Canada. I vow to be a fair but benevolent supreme leader who will inflict justifiable tariffs on all other countries which will ostracize us from the rest of the world until the stock markets crash. I will make the USA the fourth territory of Canada, to be known as the Southern Territories…. Or I’ll just ensure that Canadian bacon, maple syrup, and ice hockey gets the credit it deserves. Either way; Vote for me!!

Venice, Italy

Big events are coming to Venice, Italy. Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez will be having their wedding in Venice on a 417 foot (127 meters) yacht this June. It’s expected to be a monumental event.

Award winning author and blogger Roy G. Mundheim will be in Venice for a tour and book signing on May 10th. Venice authorities have imposed a prebooking system to avoid the mania that occurred with Taylor Swift and the Beatles. It is expected to be a monumental event.

For Those About to Rock…

While I’m excited to travel to France, Italy, and Switzerland next month, I’m also looking forward to seeing AC/DC in concert later this month. It is expected to be a monumental event. I’ve been a fan going back to when I wasn’t supposed to be a fan. Fortunately, god spoke to me and said I was on the Highway to Hell so enjoy it.

I was recently asked what my favorite AC/DC song is. C’mon, it’s obvious.

“♫ Cause I’m T.N.T (Roy! Roy! Roy!) T.N.T. I’m dynamite. T.N.T (Roy! Roy! Roy! Roy!)… ♪”.  

No A.I. of any kind wrote those songs. At least that’s what this told me.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t go to work sick. It’s not good for you and it’s disrespectful to co-workers.

I was recently asked what is the best, and fastest, way to get rid of a cough.

From the bottom of my chart; The answer is to use a pillow… but it does take a couple minutes.

2. Stand firm against tyranny and support human rights.

I was recently asked what is the best way to get people to stop spewing hate and anger. The answer is a SYM pill… it’s 7cm x 7cm and made of cork. It ‘s big enough to fit in the mouth but too large to swallow.

Thank you for reading this month’s blog. My wife and I leave for France, Italy, and Switzerland soon so there may be a gap of time before Blog Post 123 is posted. Hang in there. More of this pure gold will eventually make it your way again. It’s now time for the ending joke. Enjoy.

I was told that, “Excuses Don’t Build Empires!”

But I’m not trying to build an empire. I’m just explaining why I was late for yoga class…

P.S. If I didn’t laugh at my own jokes, this blog would not exist.