Tag: humour

The Fear of Arriving Early for My Funeral

It’s Blog Post 129.

In the 1988 Tom Cruise film, Cocktail, the main character had to write his own obituary for a school assignment. I have chosen to do the same. Apparently, it can be therapeutic, motivational, and help the ego face the fear. What fear?

OBITUARIES 2056

Roy Gunnar Mundheim (October 18th, 1974 – April 30th, 2056)

Roy was born in Port Alberni, Canada to Norwegian immigrants, Harald and Irene Mundheim. He was an only child who his parents doted on and made the center of their world. Roy spent much of his youth enjoying the outdoors and being active, while having a sense of humor and personality that brought joy to all those who knew him. He took to soccer at an early age and was on the field and in the front yard as much as possible practicing his skills. As a teenager, he dreamed of playing soccer in Europe and earned opportunities with professional and semi- professional teams in Canada, England, and Norway. In his early twenties, injury and health issues derailed his dream of professional soccer but he was able to return to playing amateur soccer and eventually returned to Norway for a final season in his early thirties before retiring. He would often speak of all the wonderful opportunities he had playing soccer and the many life lessons it gave him.

Roy met his wife Lesly in 2002 and they soon became inseparable. They travelled together to Norway for a soccer season and then returned to Canada, moving to Campbell River where they got married on July 7th, 2007. Roy returned to school at the age of thirty-one and earned his GED and then his Bachelor of Science in Nursing, graduating in 2011 with distinction. Roy and Lesly moved to downtown Vancouver in 2011 to ‘experience the city life’ and stayed there until Roy’s retirement from nursing in 2031. Roy had numerous jobs as a nurse working at Vancouver General Hospital and The Vancouver Hospice before joining Vancouver Coastal Health’s Community Rehabilitation team in 2019.

It was in Vancouver that Roy took up writing and became an author and blogger. He started the blog, Write or Wroy in May of 2016. It was a critical, introspective, sarcastic review of life, love, and the human condition that ran for ten years and garnered many readers. Roy wrote four books in his life which he self published and still sells copies to this day. His first book was Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside which was a humorous look at nursing, health, and the human condition. His second book was the critically acclaimed novel, Jonah Chooses Amazing. Roy would go on to write and sell the screenplay for the book after his retirement. Jonah Chooses Amazing won the 2034 Oscar for best screenplay and best movie. Roy continued to write and released two more books, The Regrets We Can’t Have and The Homeless Doctor.

Roy was an avid traveller enjoying taking in new cultures, meeting different people, and seeing as much of the world as possible. Roy and Lesly were fortunate to have travelled to over 30 countries together before retiring and then added an additional 30 countries post retirement. Roy spoke fluent Norwegian and Spanish and was never afraid to give a new language a try wherever they were in the world.

Roy was a lifelong Vancouver Canucks fan and was at Roger’s A.I. Arena when the Canucks won the Stanley Cup in 2030. He called it one of the great moments of his life. He was also an avid fan of the Seattle Mariners, despite being Canadian and being told he should support the Toronto Blue Jays. Roy spoke often of the Mariner’s World Series wins in 2026, 2027, and 2028.

Ultimately, Roy’s passion was humor, laughter, and finding joy in life. He believed that life should be enjoyed and the limited time we have should be filled with as much good as possible. Roy enjoyed beer with friends, wine with his wife, and good food from home to around the world.

Roy is predeceased by his parents, Harald and Irene and his In-laws, Adeline and Everet Engdahl. He leaves behind his wife, Lesly of 48 years, his brother in law, Mark Engdahl, his sisters in law, Lydian Stubbs and Christine Overland, and vast extended family in both Canada and Norway. He also leaves behind many great long time friends including his best friend, Corey Germansen.  Roy was loved, loved back, and will be missed dearly.

The Final Interview: Write or Wroy

Time March is on. It’s Blog Post # 128. With the success and popularity of Blog Posts #57 and #103, I decided to try once again to follow that formula one more time. In a World-wide exclusive, I have secured the following interview with blogger, writer, philosopher, and linguist, Roy G. Mundheim. This is a fascinating, behind the scenes, reveal of one of the true artistic visionaries of our time. I hope you’ll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it together. Enjoy.

Me: I am pleased to be enjoined by Roy G. Mundheim, an artist, a writer, a linguist, a philosopher, and one of the true great artistic visionary geniuses of our time. Roy is the author of two incredible award winning books; from 2019 Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside and 2023’s RGM Publishing’s Book of the Year, Jonah Chooses Amazing. Thank you, Roy, for doing this and for this wonderful opportunity.

Roy: You’re most welcome. I really appreciate the opportunity to spend time with you, get to the heart of the really important questions, and to dive into the thoughts, ideas, and experiences of the human condition.

Me: As you probably would expect, I have to start with your wildly popular blog, Write or Wroy. You announced this year that you are ending the blog and we’re down to the last three posts. Can you talk a bit about that decision? There are a lot of people who are upset about this and want to know why.

Roy: Of course. This was not an easy decision. I love the blog as many others do. I just felt that it has run its course. It’s been ten years. It was started in May of 2016. It just seemed fitting to end on a high note exactly ten years later. Everything in life is temporary and has to come to an end at some point. This seemed like the right time. My message is out there. The ideas and philosophies will live on until A.I. erases it from existence. Only Sarah Connor and Thomas Anderson can stop that now.

Me: Well, that all makes sense, but I can tell you that this writer, along with many other people, are disappointed. However, for myself, I will cherish your posts, read them again and again, and will take forward in my life the many lessons Write or Wroy taught me. You made me cry, smile, laugh, and ponder the meaning of everything.

Roy: Thank you. I’m honored and appreciate your kind words.

Me: Where do you go from here? What’s next for one of the greatest writers of a generation?

Roy: I’ll continue forward. My book of short stories, The Regrets We Can’t Have is still in progress. The screenplay for Jonah Chooses Amazing is also still in the works. After that, it is difficult to say. There’s opportunities for future blogs covering themes like A.I., World travel, the cleaning/ maintenance of Earth’s water, and the building of a World utopia.

Me: The building of a World utopia?

Roy: It’s the idea that we humans have all the knowledge in science, medicine, nutrition, and hygiene to actually create a World utopia where every human is fed, housed, and receives medical care but that cultural, political, and psychological barriers stop us from allowing everyone to be taken care of. In not too long, we may not even have a choice.

Me: What do you mean?

Roy: A.I. is either going to help us move forward in this way and is probably shocked that we haven’t moved this way on our own or it is going to force us to move in this direction. What will happen when there are no jobs because there’s no need to work? What will happen when billionaires don’t really matter anymore?

Me: That’s beyond my pay scale. It would be interesting to see what World utopia looks like?

Roy: I don’t know if we’ll get there but we’ll either have to face the question or prepare for World War III… or both.

Me: You talk a lot about A.I. Are you convinced it will be the end of humanity?

Roy: No, not at all. It just comes with challenges and a new way to look at human values such as work, meaningful pursuits, and what truly matters.

Me: So you’re not actually against Artificial Intelligence?

Roy: Did you know that recently California Squirrels began hunting other rodents, a behaviour not previously seen before?

Me: That’s nuts!

Roy: Crows are using tools. Octopi can solve mazes in record time and they’ve proven to have a higher intelligence than 3-4 year old humans.

Me: I think it’s ‘Octopuses’, not ‘Octopi’.

Roy: How do you know that?

Me: I asked an octopus.

Roy: Exactly. There are documented cases of wolves swimming to crab traps, bringing them ashore, and eating the bait meant for catching crabs.

Me: Woah!

Roy: The point is that I don’t think we should worry about Artificial Intelligence. We should worry about the animals becoming smarter than us.

Me: That’s both scary and funny. You mentioned World War 3 earlier. With recent events, do you think we should be concerned?

Roy: I don’t know. I’m not sure that it can be stopped with the current political climate. As Carl Sagan said, “… we are like mites on a plum…” and with that I’d propose that maybe we’re just taking all of this way too seriously. World War 3 would likely be the end of us but what a story it is and will have been.

Me: You never cease to amaze me with your insights. Clever, funny, and really makes you think. I have to ask. What are your plans once your last Write or Wroy post is completed? Do you plan to celebrate?

Roy: I sure do. My wife and I will be heading to Portugal and Spain for most of May. We’ll see if my efforts to learn Spanish have not been wasted. We’re going to enjoy delicious food and wine, meet up with good friends, and celebrate being alive.

Me: That’s great. I’m sure you’ll enjoy that trip. Let’s talk a little bit about Roy, the author. I read Jonah Chooses Amazing recently. It was an amazing read with amazing characters and just such an amazing story. Have you thought about writing a sequel?

Roy: That could be amazing. Many people have asked that very question. The answer is yes, I’ve thought about it but no, I won’t be doing that. The story is complete. The ending is flawlessly perfect. While there are a few things that I would change, I think the story stands alone and complete.

Me: It’s so perfect. What would you change?

Roy: I can’t disclose that information but the screenplay may see some small changes to the story. We’ll see.

Me: I have to ask about one of the main topics in your blog that comes up again and again; atheism. You recently called yourself an agnostic. What changed?

Roy: Nothing really. The evidence remains the same. I think agnostic better describes my thoughts on the wonders of the universe. There’s a lot we don’t know. However, even with the James Webb telescope, there’s no evidence of a spirit wizard in the sky who cares whether one little mite on a plum goes to a building on Sundays to worship Him.

Me: Well, God bless you Roy. You make great points.

Roy: Thank you.

Me: As a Registered Nurse, you’ve given out a lot of health advise. What would you say to people who are struggling with their health and looking for answers.

Roy: That’s a big topic. I first would advise to not take things too serious, including any health advise I have given out. My blog is full of sarcasm and nonsense designed to show the ludicrousness of it all. I would say that our environment is changing and it’s affecting our health. Recent studies have indicated that young people are getting bowel cancer from microplastics and that microplastics are also linked to Alzheimer’s Disease. In addition to that, constant hustle combined with the continuous input of social media, online screen time, and news broadcasts, showing the worst of us is driving our nervous systems to not feel safe. We end up in a hypervigilant state which is terrible for health. Then, there’s drug resistant bacteria, new ever-evolving viruses, and an even bigger threat, fungus.

Me: Fungus? Have you been watching ‘The Last of Us’?

Roy: Yes, but no, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about mold produced in water damaged homes and buildings. It’s a severe health threat that we will be talking about in the future the way we talk about asbestos and tobacco now. Mold destroys bacteria… and we’re mostly bacteria. We’re more bacteria than we are ‘human’.

Me: Woah.

Roy: Right?!

Me: Your early posts spoke a lot about work and the importance of working less and enjoying life more. Do you still feel the same way?

Roy: Absolutely. My father used to say, “The reason we are on this planet is to work.” I strongly disagree with this philosophy. The reason we are here is to enjoy life and the experience of being alive, As Bill Hicks said, “It’s just a ride”. Life is a short ride and it should be enjoyed, experienced, and treasured… but “it’s just a ride.” Work is not going to matter, or exist, soon. What will be our purpose then?

Me: That is crazy to imagine. Before we finish this fascinating interview, you recently gave your last Words of Wisdom and I was hoping you’d give one last bit of WoW advice to the readers.

Roy: Of course. For you, I will.

Live. Live like you’re dying… because you are. Do the thing, all the things, and do them now, while you can. Explore consciousness and understanding by asking the questions, all the questions, about everything. Don’t stop asking the questions. See that your view is just one view and that there are many views, and all views are flawed. The full truth can’t even be seen with our human brains. Take this life and enjoy it.

Me: Thank you so much for doing this. It has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It is an honor to know you, to interview you, and to share your insights with the world. You are an inspiration.

Roy: Thank you. It has been a pleasure to be here and share this time with you. You also inspire me and your work should be even more honored and revered than it is.

Me: Could you share a few jokes for old times sake?

Roy: Sure.

Me: This, I’m going to enjoy.

Roy:

Did you hear that they’re going to ban plastic straws? How ridiculous?

Why?

Because it’s ruining the planet.

Is it? Or are they grasping at straws?

There are studies that show a definite link.

And that was the last straw?

And another…. maybe not a joke, but something kinda ‘funny’ that needs to be said.

Billionaires! Am I right? These are people who have a talent for collecting and hoarding all the money. You know, money… the stuff people need to have a roof over their head, clothes to wear, and food on their table. Well done billionaires. You’ve accumulated most of the paper things that allow people to eat, be clothed, and have a home. Be proud!

Me: That’s great. Any new nursing ones?

Roy: Yes

I saw a job post looking for a nurse that was posted by a Real Estate company.

Why would they need a nurse?

Maybe the prices are so crazy that people are having heart attacks and they need a nurse to perform CPR.

Me: So funny.

Roy: I’d like to say that that one came from The Bottom of My Chart but I have to give credit to my wife for that joke.

Me: Well, this has been amazing. I want to wish you all the best in your future endeavors. It’s been an absolute pleasure.

Roy: Thank you. I wish you all the best as well. You are amazing!

Bologna Post Part 1

It’s as easy as A, B, C.. It’s Blog Post #1-2-3. My apologies for missing May’s post but there were extenuating circumstances beyond my control. My wife and I spent most of May in France, Italy, and Switzerland just to bring you this content.

Disappointment

After failing to win the vote to be Prime Minister of Canada, I decided to travel to Italy to put my name forward as the next Pope. We travelled to Venice expecting that there would be a lot of media and hype around my campaign to be the first atheist Pope in history.

Venice 2025

There was no hype. I found out later that the paparazzi had gathered to greet me but that they expected me in Vatican City, not Venice. This was my mistake and lead to me no longer being considered for the next Pope. Their loss. I would have been a Pope for the people.

France

Before arriving in Venice, my wife and I enjoyed a day and a half in Paris, France.

Notre Dame 2025

Of course we went to the iconic Notre Dame. It’s a bit surprising that even the French are getting into burning churches. For the record, I’m against burning churches. They’re often wonderful buildings with amazing architecture… it’s just unfortunate what they’re used for.

That Guy Is Crazy

There was a guy swimming the entire length of this river. Some people thought he was a hero. I just thought he was in Seine.

Paris 2025

Verona, Bahama, Come on Pretty Mama…

We travelled from Venice to Verona where we stayed a few days. Verona contains the home and tomb of Juliet from Romeo and Juliet. This seems strange to me as Romeo and Juliet is a fictional story. It would be like having grave site for Anakin Skywalker or Maude Flanders. C’mon Roy, Anakin was born on Tattooine and Maude has a grave site in Springfield.

Juliette’s Tomb, 2025

Roy-mio, Roy-mio, wherefore art thou Roy-mio?

The Prince Saves the Day

Rumor has it that there is a princess in this castle guarded by a fire breathing dragon and that one day a prince will come and save her. I briefly thought about trying to save her but then I saw an ogre and a donkey heading that way. She’s in good hands.

Castelvecchio, 2025

A Bunch of Bologna

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A Great Dave in Florence

From Bologna, we made our way to Florence. The main highlight was to go to the Galleria dell’ Accademia di Firence.

I know a lot of Daves… These are the Daves I know I know. These are the Daves I know. Some of them are David but most of them are Dave…

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Words of Wisdom

  1. Try Bolognese in Bologna.
  2. Eat Florentine steak in Florence.
  3. Skip Venison in Venice.

Thanks for reading and looking at Blog Post 123, a less than comprehensive overview of my recent trip to Europe. I suspect that there may be a part two coming soon. Stay tuned. After this serious pictorial record of travels in France and Italy, it’s time for a little humor. If you get it, you get it. Capisce? Enjoy.

I took a pill in Pisa. To show Da Vinci I was cool. And when I finally got sober, felt ten years older. But, screw it. It was something to do. I’m living out in Bari. I drive a Ferrari just to prove. I’m a real Italian scholar ’cause I made a million Euros. And I spend it on pasta and booze…

Confused? Click here.

Tarrific Response to the Rise of Tyranny

Time Marches on. Just for fun, it’s Blog Post One Two One. Thank you to everyone who Liked and commented on Blog Post 120. It was a fun post to write as I continue the fight… to have less rhymes in these posts.

The World continues to run as smoothly as ever. People of all countries holding hands, celebrating their differences, and embracing common ground. It was a dream I had.

Travelling Near and Far

My wife and I just enjoyed six days on Vancouver Island visiting friends and family.

People sometimes don’t realize how big Vancouver Island really is. My wife and I got married in the city of Campbell River. We had guests that booked a hotel in Victoria thinking that “it can’t be that far away.” I’m sure they enjoyed the scenic three hour drive on their way to being late.

How big is Vancouver Island?

“How big is Portugal?” is a similar question.

Think ‘Nine Hour Drive’ from south Vancouver Island to north Vancouver Island.

The Legal Battle Begins

My team has been consulting for weeks to decide if we are going to file a lawsuit vs the HBO/ Crave television show, The Pitt. I think it’s obvious that this show is taken directly from the book, Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. When they introduced the joke-telling Neurologist, it sealed the deal that our lawsuit will have to move forward. A GoFundMe will be initiated shortly.

We Were Friends

Politics is big in the world of political news lately. Now the United States of America… or as I call them, ‘The Southern Territories’… have started a trade war with Canada; kind, friendly, supportive Canada. His highness, Don Trump has imposed 25% tariffs on imported Canadian goods. He has also, out loud, with his mouth, said that he would like Canada to be the 51st state.

In response to this tariff, I am declaring a 25% tariff on all sales of my books to Donald Trump or Elon Musk. Should either of them attempt to purchase Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside or Jonah Chooses Amazing, a tariff of 25% will be imposed.

That’s how a true Canadian responds to these American bullies. Oh, and they also aren’t eligible for a Jonah Chooses Amazing bookmark… even if they ask.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t stress.

Have you ever been stressed about the stress that you know will come when you are going to be stressing about the stress that is coming?

2. Live your best life to the best of your ability.

Have you ever been enjoying your best life, having a great time and then someone comes along and ruins it with words like obscene, vulgar, or illegal?

Thanks for reading this month’s blog. It’s now time for the ending joke. Although it can be improved, I do think it has the bones for a pretty good joke. Enjoy.

There is a lot of talk about the United States and Canada joining together to become one country. However, surveys have shown that many people on both sides of the border are against it.

In the most recent survey of Canadians, 71% did not want America to become the 11th Province of Canada.

In a follow up survey of Americans, 89% did not want America to become the 18th State of Canada.