Tag: humour

Bologna Post Part 1

It’s as easy as A, B, C.. It’s Blog Post #1-2-3. My apologies for missing May’s post but there were extenuating circumstances beyond my control. My wife and I spent most of May in France, Italy, and Switzerland just to bring you this content.

Disappointment

After failing to win the vote to be Prime Minister of Canada, I decided to travel to Italy to put my name forward as the next Pope. We travelled to Venice expecting that there would be a lot of media and hype around my campaign to be the first atheist Pope in history.

Venice 2025

There was no hype. I found out later that the paparazzi had gathered to greet me but that they expected me in Vatican City, not Venice. This was my mistake and lead to me no longer being considered for the next Pope. Their loss. I would have been a Pope for the people.

France

Before arriving in Venice, my wife and I enjoyed a day and a half in Paris, France.

Notre Dame 2025

Of course we went to the iconic Notre Dame. It’s a bit surprising that even the French are getting into burning churches. For the record, I’m against burning churches. They’re often wonderful buildings with amazing architecture… it’s just unfortunate what they’re used for.

That Guy Is Crazy

There was a guy swimming the entire length of this river. Some people thought he was a hero. I just thought he was in Seine.

Paris 2025

Verona, Bahama, Come on Pretty Mama…

We travelled from Venice to Verona where we stayed a few days. Verona contains the home and tomb of Juliet from Romeo and Juliet. This seems strange to me as Romeo and Juliet is a fictional story. It would be like having grave site for Anakin Skywalker or Maude Flanders. C’mon Roy, Anakin was born on Tattooine and Maude has a grave site in Springfield.

Juliette’s Tomb, 2025

Roy-mio, Roy-mio, wherefore art thou Roy-mio?

The Prince Saves the Day

Rumor has it that there is a princess in this castle guarded by a fire breathing dragon and that one day a prince will come and save her. I briefly thought about trying to save her but then I saw an ogre and a donkey heading that way. She’s in good hands.

Castelvecchio, 2025

A Bunch of Bologna

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A Great Dave in Florence

From Bologna, we made our way to Florence. The main highlight was to go to the Galleria dell’ Accademia di Firence.

I know a lot of Daves… These are the Daves I know I know. These are the Daves I know. Some of them are David but most of them are Dave…

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Words of Wisdom

  1. Try Bolognese in Bologna.
  2. Eat Florentine steak in Florence.
  3. Skip Venison in Venice.

Thanks for reading and looking at Blog Post 123, a less than comprehensive overview of my recent trip to Europe. I suspect that there may be a part two coming soon. Stay tuned. After this serious pictorial record of travels in France and Italy, it’s time for a little humor. If you get it, you get it. Capisce? Enjoy.

I took a pill in Pisa. To show Da Vinci I was cool. And when I finally got sober, felt ten years older. But, screw it. It was something to do. I’m living out in Bari. I drive a Ferrari just to prove. I’m a real Italian scholar ’cause I made a million Euros. And I spend it on pasta and booze…

Confused? Click here.

Tarrific Response to the Rise of Tyranny

Time Marches on. Just for fun, it’s Blog Post One Two One. Thank you to everyone who Liked and commented on Blog Post 120. It was a fun post to write as I continue the fight… to have less rhymes in these posts.

The World continues to run as smoothly as ever. People of all countries holding hands, celebrating their differences, and embracing common ground. It was a dream I had.

Travelling Near and Far

My wife and I just enjoyed six days on Vancouver Island visiting friends and family.

People sometimes don’t realize how big Vancouver Island really is. My wife and I got married in the city of Campbell River. We had guests that booked a hotel in Victoria thinking that “it can’t be that far away.” I’m sure they enjoyed the scenic three hour drive on their way to being late.

How big is Vancouver Island?

“How big is Portugal?” is a similar question.

Think ‘Nine Hour Drive’ from south Vancouver Island to north Vancouver Island.

The Legal Battle Begins

My team has been consulting for weeks to decide if we are going to file a lawsuit vs the HBO/ Crave television show, The Pitt. I think it’s obvious that this show is taken directly from the book, Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. When they introduced the joke-telling Neurologist, it sealed the deal that our lawsuit will have to move forward. A GoFundMe will be initiated shortly.

We Were Friends

Politics is big in the world of political news lately. Now the United States of America… or as I call them, ‘The Southern Territories’… have started a trade war with Canada; kind, friendly, supportive Canada. His highness, Don Trump has imposed 25% tariffs on imported Canadian goods. He has also, out loud, with his mouth, said that he would like Canada to be the 51st state.

In response to this tariff, I am declaring a 25% tariff on all sales of my books to Donald Trump or Elon Musk. Should either of them attempt to purchase Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside or Jonah Chooses Amazing, a tariff of 25% will be imposed.

That’s how a true Canadian responds to these American bullies. Oh, and they also aren’t eligible for a Jonah Chooses Amazing bookmark… even if they ask.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t stress.

Have you ever been stressed about the stress that you know will come when you are going to be stressing about the stress that is coming?

2. Live your best life to the best of your ability.

Have you ever been enjoying your best life, having a great time and then someone comes along and ruins it with words like obscene, vulgar, or illegal?

Thanks for reading this month’s blog. It’s now time for the ending joke. Although it can be improved, I do think it has the bones for a pretty good joke. Enjoy.

There is a lot of talk about the United States and Canada joining together to become one country. However, surveys have shown that many people on both sides of the border are against it.

In the most recent survey of Canadians, 71% did not want America to become the 11th Province of Canada.

In a follow up survey of Americans, 89% did not want America to become the 18th State of Canada.