Tag: humor

Readers Choose Amazing, Headlining the Anniversary.

Happy September. It’s Blog Post #116. You would think that a blog that was mostly photos would be popular and without controversy. That appears not to be the case. I received a number of messages expressing a less than satisfactory reception for Blog Post #115. They’re just jokes and play on words. As far as the Sweden stuff goes, I can’t change the past. What happened, happened.

Life

My wife and I have returned to our life in beautiful Vancouver. We’re working again and planning our next excursions. We’re preparing for a big party next month (stay tuned) and thinking of a short trip to Mexico next year. I can then do that Ted Talk in Spanish that I’m constantly being harassed to do. Vamos a ver.

The Trip Continues…

It sure does. The earth keeps swinging past the sun and then back again as it always has and will continue to do so. Don’t be fooled by the rhetoric that it revolves arounds the sun or that the Earth rotates. I mean, come on. How gullible are the gullible? Very gullible.

For Fauske Sake

During our recent trip to Europe, my wife and I spent time with family in Fauske, Norway. It’s a small municipality of less than 10 000 people. While we were there, The Arctic Race of Norway (an international multiple stage bicycle race) passed by and I took this photo.  It was the second biggest thing to happen in Fauske in 2024.

Happy Anniversary!

It’s hard to believe that it is now one year ago that the sensational novel, Jonah Chooses Amazing was released to critical acclaim. In honor of this one year anniversary, the price has been slashed 25%. You can get your copy of this incredible novel here. Jonah Chooses Amazing

Writing Update

With all the requests I get for updates on my writing, I thought I’d throw a quick one in here. I’m still working on the screenplay for Jonah Chooses Amazing but it’s a long term project. My next book, The Regrets We Can’t Have is moving at a snail’s pace, but I hope to start sharing some updates in early 2025. Currently, I’m still selling copies of my first book, Nursing. The Funny Side of the Bedside despite it now being five years old. As for Jonah Chooses Amazing, the sales have really slowed. It’s been buried in a sea of so many novels that its greatness has not been fully discovered. It’s the chance you take when you self publish as I have. Most importantly, this masterful blog continues and will continue for some time. Thank you to everyone who supports all my writing endeavors.

Words of Wisdom

1. Headline writing is important.

I recently read a headline that said, ‘The Best States to Retire In’. I went to read the article. It was not at all what I expected. They talked about California, Florida, Arizona, and New York. I thought to myself, “Those aren’t the best states to retire in. The best states to retire in are healthy, happy, wealthy, calm, relaxed, content, active etc.”

2. Headlines can be strange.

I read a headline that said, “Camera Man Can’t Keep Up with Cheetah’s Speed.” Well, considering that cheetahs have a documented top speed of 103 km/ hour and the fastest human has been recorded going 44.99 km/ hour, it doesn’t seem to be worth even making a headline about it. “Plumber Unable to Stay Underwater as Long as Basking Shark”. How was a camera man with all that equipment going to even be close to the world’s fastest animal? If you strapped the camera and all the equipment on the cheetah, I’d still take the cheetah. “Cheetah Bogged Down by Cameras and Equipment Can’t Keep Up with Man”. There’s a joke here about the man being some sort of cheater but that’s for another blog.

3. Headlines rock… and leave questions.

“Dave Grohl Announced that He had Fathered a Child Outside His Marriage Earlier Today.”

4. Don’t steal from Jay Leno.

Thanks for reading this month’s blog post. “Readers Can’t Keep Up with Out-There, Nonsensical, Off-Putting, Obscure-Referencing Blog Post”.

I appreciate all the messages I’ve been getting via email, FB Messenger, and through my website… even if not always positive.

I don’t have an ending joke this time around. Instead, my wife insisted that I answer a question that she said everyone will be asking. I told her that the answer is clear and obvious. She said, “No, it’s not.” I said, “Yes! It is.” She said, “No, it isn’t.” I said, “Is so.” She said, “Isn’t.” I said, “Is too.” I decided to answer her question. Enjoy.

Wait! What was the biggest thing to happen in Fauske in 2024?

I wrote that already. International award winning author, Roy G. Mundheim was there visiting.

Donating Time to X,Y, and Z.

Happy New Year!! More importantly, it’s Blog Post # 108. It’s a time for renewal… of the mind, the body, and the soul (even though there’s no such thing). The mind is an illusion.

Thank you to everyone who purchased Jonah Chooses Amazing from September 26th to December 26th to support a great cause. Here is my $211.00 donation to the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada.

In case you feel like you missed out…

If I sell 200 more books from now until December 26th, 2024, I will donate another $200 to this worthy cause. There have already been some post Xmas sales so support a great cause. You can start your Xmas shopping for next year now.

Spoiler Alert

Q & A

Thanks for sending your questions about Jonah Chooses Amazing. I won’t get to them all but here are a few. If you haven’t read the book, be warned that there are spoilers ahead.

Why did Jonah decide to do all these things?

It’s open to interpretation. Guilt, regret, the need to prove something. Jonah is someone with a lot of free time. I think he came to the conclusion that he had been wasting it. The death of a parent can be a reminder that our own death is coming too and that time is running out.

Why didn’t you explore the relationship between Jonah and Claudette more? It seemed prime for some romance.

Because that’s not what the story was about. I actually enjoy a good romance. I am a rom-com fan, much to wife’s horror. However, this is a story about a much different journey, a journey of finding the self, and learning self forgiveness. I hate stories where a romance is automatically tacked on.

Can you explain the ending?

No… and yes. Again, it’s open to interpretation. A lot of the ending is implied and subtle. It shows he’s reached a point of moderation. He’s still up early… not as crazy early. He’s more comfortable in his daily life. The decision to go for a beer… that’s his evolution to enjoying life while also pursuing his goals. Fin.

Words of Wisdom

1. Use your phone less. Be online less. Enjoy real life.

In an effort to use social media less, I decided to leave Twitter (or X… or ex-Twitter… or the Social Media Format Formally Known as Twitter).

I hate when people make such a big deal out of leaving a social media platform, like they’re hoping people will beg for them to come back. People will go on and on about it. Some people will even post some grand final message and/ or Tweet, “This will be my final message as I will be leaving Twitter for good. The platform has proven to be a cesspool of nonsense and further evidence of the de-evolution of the human mind. It is filled full of uninformed opinions, intrinsic hatred, and is allowing for anonymous or protected outrageous behavior and unacceptable statements which I feel is lessening me as a human being. For this reason, I am leaving this evil inducing, fear mongering, superstition enforcing propaganda machine.”

By the way, I have actually left Twitter or X or ex-Twitter, or the Social Media Platform formerly known as Twitter. It was a difficult decision. I don’t want to make a big deal out it.

I first joined Twitter in 2012 after strong feelings of FOMO was keeping me up nights. It was a different time. The vibe was different. I remember I had an onion tied to my belt… which was the style at the time…

I also considered leaving Facebook. I posted this question on Facebook, “Has anyone deleted their FB account? What was it like?” I received no responses.

So, in the end, I decided to just leave Twitter or X. I’m now an ex-X user.

I just feel that X-lacks substance… which is kinda shitty.

2. Life should not be all work all the time. Pursue your passions. In the end, we’re all here ‘wasting’ our time before death. What are you ‘wasting’ your time on?

My co-worker recently skipped work to do a marathon.

What did The Boss say?

I was born to run.

Thanks for reading this post and starting your January off in the best way possible. It’s now time for the ending jokes. The first one comes From the Bottom of My Chart. Enjoy.

I recently attended a seminar on Lyme Disease.

It was a very popular Tick Talk.

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I was at Comic-con and Ross Bagdasarian was there to talk about his creation, The Chipmunks.

No one asked about Alvin or Simon.

It was a good Ted Talk.