Tag: fiction

The Fear of Arriving Early for My Funeral

It’s Blog Post 129.

In the 1988 Tom Cruise film, Cocktail, the main character had to write his own obituary for a school assignment. I have chosen to do the same. Apparently, it can be therapeutic, motivational, and help the ego face the fear. What fear?

OBITUARIES 2056

Roy Gunnar Mundheim (October 18th, 1974 – April 30th, 2056)

Roy was born in Port Alberni, Canada to Norwegian immigrants, Harald and Irene Mundheim. He was an only child who his parents doted on and made the center of their world. Roy spent much of his youth enjoying the outdoors and being active, while having a sense of humor and personality that brought joy to all those who knew him. He took to soccer at an early age and was on the field and in the front yard as much as possible practicing his skills. As a teenager, he dreamed of playing soccer in Europe and earned opportunities with professional and semi- professional teams in Canada, England, and Norway. In his early twenties, injury and health issues derailed his dream of professional soccer but he was able to return to playing amateur soccer and eventually returned to Norway for a final season in his early thirties before retiring. He would often speak of all the wonderful opportunities he had playing soccer and the many life lessons it gave him.

Roy met his wife Lesly in 2002 and they soon became inseparable. They travelled together to Norway for a soccer season and then returned to Canada, moving to Campbell River where they got married on July 7th, 2007. Roy returned to school at the age of thirty-one and earned his GED and then his Bachelor of Science in Nursing, graduating in 2011 with distinction. Roy and Lesly moved to downtown Vancouver in 2011 to ‘experience the city life’ and stayed there until Roy’s retirement from nursing in 2031. Roy had numerous jobs as a nurse working at Vancouver General Hospital and The Vancouver Hospice before joining Vancouver Coastal Health’s Community Rehabilitation team in 2019.

It was in Vancouver that Roy took up writing and became an author and blogger. He started the blog, Write or Wroy in May of 2016. It was a critical, introspective, sarcastic review of life, love, and the human condition that ran for ten years and garnered many readers. Roy wrote four books in his life which he self published and still sells copies to this day. His first book was Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside which was a humorous look at nursing, health, and the human condition. His second book was the critically acclaimed novel, Jonah Chooses Amazing. Roy would go on to write and sell the screenplay for the book after his retirement. Jonah Chooses Amazing won the 2034 Oscar for best screenplay and best movie. Roy continued to write and released two more books, The Regrets We Can’t Have and The Homeless Doctor.

Roy was an avid traveller enjoying taking in new cultures, meeting different people, and seeing as much of the world as possible. Roy and Lesly were fortunate to have travelled to over 30 countries together before retiring and then added an additional 30 countries post retirement. Roy spoke fluent Norwegian and Spanish and was never afraid to give a new language a try wherever they were in the world.

Roy was a lifelong Vancouver Canucks fan and was at Roger’s A.I. Arena when the Canucks won the Stanley Cup in 2030. He called it one of the great moments of his life. He was also an avid fan of the Seattle Mariners, despite being Canadian and being told he should support the Toronto Blue Jays. Roy spoke often of the Mariner’s World Series wins in 2026, 2027, and 2028.

Ultimately, Roy’s passion was humor, laughter, and finding joy in life. He believed that life should be enjoyed and the limited time we have should be filled with as much good as possible. Roy enjoyed beer with friends, wine with his wife, and good food from home to around the world.

Roy is predeceased by his parents, Harald and Irene and his In-laws, Adeline and Everet Engdahl. He leaves behind his wife, Lesly of 48 years, his brother in law, Mark Engdahl, his sisters in law, Lydian Stubbs and Christine Overland, and vast extended family in both Canada and Norway. He also leaves behind many great long time friends including his best friend, Corey Germansen.  Roy was loved, loved back, and will be missed dearly.

The Final Interview: Write or Wroy

Time March is on. It’s Blog Post # 128. With the success and popularity of Blog Posts #57 and #103, I decided to try once again to follow that formula one more time. In a World-wide exclusive, I have secured the following interview with blogger, writer, philosopher, and linguist, Roy G. Mundheim. This is a fascinating, behind the scenes, reveal of one of the true artistic visionaries of our time. I hope you’ll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it together. Enjoy.

Me: I am pleased to be enjoined by Roy G. Mundheim, an artist, a writer, a linguist, a philosopher, and one of the true great artistic visionary geniuses of our time. Roy is the author of two incredible award winning books; from 2019 Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside and 2023’s RGM Publishing’s Book of the Year, Jonah Chooses Amazing. Thank you, Roy, for doing this and for this wonderful opportunity.

Roy: You’re most welcome. I really appreciate the opportunity to spend time with you, get to the heart of the really important questions, and to dive into the thoughts, ideas, and experiences of the human condition.

Me: As you probably would expect, I have to start with your wildly popular blog, Write or Wroy. You announced this year that you are ending the blog and we’re down to the last three posts. Can you talk a bit about that decision? There are a lot of people who are upset about this and want to know why.

Roy: Of course. This was not an easy decision. I love the blog as many others do. I just felt that it has run its course. It’s been ten years. It was started in May of 2016. It just seemed fitting to end on a high note exactly ten years later. Everything in life is temporary and has to come to an end at some point. This seemed like the right time. My message is out there. The ideas and philosophies will live on until A.I. erases it from existence. Only Sarah Connor and Thomas Anderson can stop that now.

Me: Well, that all makes sense, but I can tell you that this writer, along with many other people, are disappointed. However, for myself, I will cherish your posts, read them again and again, and will take forward in my life the many lessons Write or Wroy taught me. You made me cry, smile, laugh, and ponder the meaning of everything.

Roy: Thank you. I’m honored and appreciate your kind words.

Me: Where do you go from here? What’s next for one of the greatest writers of a generation?

Roy: I’ll continue forward. My book of short stories, The Regrets We Can’t Have is still in progress. The screenplay for Jonah Chooses Amazing is also still in the works. After that, it is difficult to say. There’s opportunities for future blogs covering themes like A.I., World travel, the cleaning/ maintenance of Earth’s water, and the building of a World utopia.

Me: The building of a World utopia?

Roy: It’s the idea that we humans have all the knowledge in science, medicine, nutrition, and hygiene to actually create a World utopia where every human is fed, housed, and receives medical care but that cultural, political, and psychological barriers stop us from allowing everyone to be taken care of. In not too long, we may not even have a choice.

Me: What do you mean?

Roy: A.I. is either going to help us move forward in this way and is probably shocked that we haven’t moved this way on our own or it is going to force us to move in this direction. What will happen when there are no jobs because there’s no need to work? What will happen when billionaires don’t really matter anymore?

Me: That’s beyond my pay scale. It would be interesting to see what World utopia looks like?

Roy: I don’t know if we’ll get there but we’ll either have to face the question or prepare for World War III… or both.

Me: You talk a lot about A.I. Are you convinced it will be the end of humanity?

Roy: No, not at all. It just comes with challenges and a new way to look at human values such as work, meaningful pursuits, and what truly matters.

Me: So you’re not actually against Artificial Intelligence?

Roy: Did you know that recently California Squirrels began hunting other rodents, a behaviour not previously seen before?

Me: That’s nuts!

Roy: Crows are using tools. Octopi can solve mazes in record time and they’ve proven to have a higher intelligence than 3-4 year old humans.

Me: I think it’s ‘Octopuses’, not ‘Octopi’.

Roy: How do you know that?

Me: I asked an octopus.

Roy: Exactly. There are documented cases of wolves swimming to crab traps, bringing them ashore, and eating the bait meant for catching crabs.

Me: Woah!

Roy: The point is that I don’t think we should worry about Artificial Intelligence. We should worry about the animals becoming smarter than us.

Me: That’s both scary and funny. You mentioned World War 3 earlier. With recent events, do you think we should be concerned?

Roy: I don’t know. I’m not sure that it can be stopped with the current political climate. As Carl Sagan said, “… we are like mites on a plum…” and with that I’d propose that maybe we’re just taking all of this way too seriously. World War 3 would likely be the end of us but what a story it is and will have been.

Me: You never cease to amaze me with your insights. Clever, funny, and really makes you think. I have to ask. What are your plans once your last Write or Wroy post is completed? Do you plan to celebrate?

Roy: I sure do. My wife and I will be heading to Portugal and Spain for most of May. We’ll see if my efforts to learn Spanish have not been wasted. We’re going to enjoy delicious food and wine, meet up with good friends, and celebrate being alive.

Me: That’s great. I’m sure you’ll enjoy that trip. Let’s talk a little bit about Roy, the author. I read Jonah Chooses Amazing recently. It was an amazing read with amazing characters and just such an amazing story. Have you thought about writing a sequel?

Roy: That could be amazing. Many people have asked that very question. The answer is yes, I’ve thought about it but no, I won’t be doing that. The story is complete. The ending is flawlessly perfect. While there are a few things that I would change, I think the story stands alone and complete.

Me: It’s so perfect. What would you change?

Roy: I can’t disclose that information but the screenplay may see some small changes to the story. We’ll see.

Me: I have to ask about one of the main topics in your blog that comes up again and again; atheism. You recently called yourself an agnostic. What changed?

Roy: Nothing really. The evidence remains the same. I think agnostic better describes my thoughts on the wonders of the universe. There’s a lot we don’t know. However, even with the James Webb telescope, there’s no evidence of a spirit wizard in the sky who cares whether one little mite on a plum goes to a building on Sundays to worship Him.

Me: Well, God bless you Roy. You make great points.

Roy: Thank you.

Me: As a Registered Nurse, you’ve given out a lot of health advise. What would you say to people who are struggling with their health and looking for answers.

Roy: That’s a big topic. I first would advise to not take things too serious, including any health advise I have given out. My blog is full of sarcasm and nonsense designed to show the ludicrousness of it all. I would say that our environment is changing and it’s affecting our health. Recent studies have indicated that young people are getting bowel cancer from microplastics and that microplastics are also linked to Alzheimer’s Disease. In addition to that, constant hustle combined with the continuous input of social media, online screen time, and news broadcasts, showing the worst of us is driving our nervous systems to not feel safe. We end up in a hypervigilant state which is terrible for health. Then, there’s drug resistant bacteria, new ever-evolving viruses, and an even bigger threat, fungus.

Me: Fungus? Have you been watching ‘The Last of Us’?

Roy: Yes, but no, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about mold produced in water damaged homes and buildings. It’s a severe health threat that we will be talking about in the future the way we talk about asbestos and tobacco now. Mold destroys bacteria… and we’re mostly bacteria. We’re more bacteria than we are ‘human’.

Me: Woah.

Roy: Right?!

Me: Your early posts spoke a lot about work and the importance of working less and enjoying life more. Do you still feel the same way?

Roy: Absolutely. My father used to say, “The reason we are on this planet is to work.” I strongly disagree with this philosophy. The reason we are here is to enjoy life and the experience of being alive, As Bill Hicks said, “It’s just a ride”. Life is a short ride and it should be enjoyed, experienced, and treasured… but “it’s just a ride.” Work is not going to matter, or exist, soon. What will be our purpose then?

Me: That is crazy to imagine. Before we finish this fascinating interview, you recently gave your last Words of Wisdom and I was hoping you’d give one last bit of WoW advice to the readers.

Roy: Of course. For you, I will.

Live. Live like you’re dying… because you are. Do the thing, all the things, and do them now, while you can. Explore consciousness and understanding by asking the questions, all the questions, about everything. Don’t stop asking the questions. See that your view is just one view and that there are many views, and all views are flawed. The full truth can’t even be seen with our human brains. Take this life and enjoy it.

Me: Thank you so much for doing this. It has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It is an honor to know you, to interview you, and to share your insights with the world. You are an inspiration.

Roy: Thank you. It has been a pleasure to be here and share this time with you. You also inspire me and your work should be even more honored and revered than it is.

Me: Could you share a few jokes for old times sake?

Roy: Sure.

Me: This, I’m going to enjoy.

Roy:

Did you hear that they’re going to ban plastic straws? How ridiculous?

Why?

Because it’s ruining the planet.

Is it? Or are they grasping at straws?

There are studies that show a definite link.

And that was the last straw?

And another…. maybe not a joke, but something kinda ‘funny’ that needs to be said.

Billionaires! Am I right? These are people who have a talent for collecting and hoarding all the money. You know, money… the stuff people need to have a roof over their head, clothes to wear, and food on their table. Well done billionaires. You’ve accumulated most of the paper things that allow people to eat, be clothed, and have a home. Be proud!

Me: That’s great. Any new nursing ones?

Roy: Yes

I saw a job post looking for a nurse that was posted by a Real Estate company.

Why would they need a nurse?

Maybe the prices are so crazy that people are having heart attacks and they need a nurse to perform CPR.

Me: So funny.

Roy: I’d like to say that that one came from The Bottom of My Chart but I have to give credit to my wife for that joke.

Me: Well, this has been amazing. I want to wish you all the best in your future endeavors. It’s been an absolute pleasure.

Roy: Thank you. I wish you all the best as well. You are amazing!

Forge a New Path and Change Your @#$%in’ Password!

Happy Holidays!! It’s Blog Post #107. Thank you to everyone who has purchased Jonah Chooses Amazing so far. I’ve reached my goal of $200.00 to donate to the Heart and Stroke Foundation!! An update will be provided in Blog Post #108.

With the upcoming holidays, I thought I’d share an excerpt from Jonah Chooses Amazing, the year’s greatest gift possible.

“Happy George Michael Memorial Day Eve!”

“Oh yeah… I forgot you call it that. I hope ham is ok. Oh good, you found the tree and set it up. We can decorate it once I get the ham in the oven.”

Decorating the tree with holiday songs of yesteryear and hits from Wham was followed by setting the table and putting out the presents. Jonah had managed to get presents despite his recent troubles and a schedule that made Mother Nature look like a part time worker.

Q&A

Continuing with last month’s theme, I asked for emailed questions and promised to answer. I’m sorry if I didn’t get to yours or if the answer is delayed because I don’t want to give away any spoilers quite yet.

What is your writing process like? Do you write every day?

I do not write every day. I write when I have down time, when I’m feeling inspired, or when it’s been too long. No pressure. No deadlines. It’s what works best for me.

How is your health?

This wasn’t really the type of question I was looking for but since so many asked, I thought I should answer. It’s ok. I continue to have unexplained neurological symptoms. However, since September I have been feeling much better, much more like my self, with a very noticeable reduction in intensity and severity of symptoms. My doctor is very encouraged and optimistic of full recovery but that it will take time.

What’s your next book about?

It is called The Regrets We Can’t Have. It will be a series of short stories exploring regret, decisions, emotions, and human behaviors. It will look at how we see ourselves, how we want to be and act in certain situations, but how we so often fall short. I’m hopeful of a 2025 release. It could very well be the final book in human history not written by A.I.

Words of Wisdom

1. Celebrate. Celebrate the year that was with all its ups and downs. Celebrate the year to come. Despite the crazy state of the world, you and I are still here to enjoy it. That’s worth celebrating.

2. Don’t complain. When you order gelato that is the size of a golf ball and it costs three times your hourly wage, rest easy knowing that it hurts… just as it should. It should be a bit painful to indulge in things that aren’t good for us. In fact, instead of eating that gelato with the barbie doll sized spoon they give you, eat it all in one bite and get brain freeze. Let the pain flow through you.

End of the Line

This is my last post for 2023. We’ve come to the end of the year. It’s been a year of ups and downs for me personally. There’s been the challenges with my health which has also seen many positives as I seem to be making progress. There’s the sense of accomplishment and the positive feedback from completing and releasing my first novel, Jonah Chooses Amazing. Then, there’s all the things to be grateful for… and there are many. Friends, family, good times, and my wonderful wife Lesly. While we’ve come to the end of the line this year, I look forward to 2024, even is it means getting off this track and forging a new path.

Seattle U.S.A 2023

Thanks again for supporting this blog (by reading and sharing it) and supporting my novel, Jonah Chooses Amazing (by buying it, sharing about it, and most importantly reading it). I will answer some of your specific questions about the book in the next couple of blog posts. Happy Holidays and happy reading. Cheers. It’s now time for the ending jokes. Enjoy.

How many passwords do we need to have now? There’s a password for your computer, your phone, your bank, your government tax file. There’s passwords1 for every application, social media account, streaming service, and cloud. We need password1234 for Skyping, Zooming, Messaging, and Whatsapping. We even have a password678 for our app that manages all our passwords. Then they ask that these passwords be regularly changed and you can never use the same password44 twice. @#&% !! It’s crazy707.

In community health nursing, I have to have a user name and password for every program I access… which is a lot. They ask for a new password at least every three months while continuing to adjust the parameters of letters, numbers, and characters. The passwords8484 become so elaborate and safe that those who create them are also locked out. It’s crazy9918!!

There was a nurse at my work who retired early. In the exit interview, they asked why she was leaving. She said she loved her job but that she had run out of passwords for all the programs she had to use.

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I’m pleased to announce that Jonah Chooses Amazing is a finalist for RGM Publishing’s Book of the Year. Winner to be announced in January.