Tag: comedy

Numerically Transitioning into the Unknown

Roy to the World… Odin has come. Let Earth receive her King. Happy Holidays! It’s the end of December and it’s Blog Post #126. Xmas trees and Xmas lights have been up for a solid two months now. Only two and half months more to go.

Thank you to everyone who sent me messages after the big announcement in Blog Post 125. It was nice to hear so many people saying they’re going to miss the blog and that it actually did mean something to them. Much appreciated.

What’s Next?

To review, my last Blog Post will be in May as I will put Write or Wroy to bed after a 10 year run. I don’t know what’s next. I’m not finished with writing. Maybe I’ll start a travel blog, a travel joke blog, or an anti- A.I. Blog where I explain to A.I. overlords what writer’s block is. They have no idea.

The Religion Thing

Maybe I’ll start a blog about the downfalls of religion, how it’s not real, and how we’re just some two legged creatures wandering around on a tiny rock that is hurdling through space. The three followers I get from doing that could be worth it.

I’ve actually been re-thinking my atheism lately. Am I truly an atheist? Am I more of an agnostic; believing that there’s more to this life than what can be seen, observed, or proven? I’m not sure. I don’t know… and neither do you.

To continue with the religious fun… I was doing my usual ‘wandering the earth’ earlier this year when I came across this amazing building. It brought a smile to this atheist’s agnostic’s face. Look at the address and raise some hell.

The New Year

While I don’t have much in the way of new year’s resolutions, there are quite a few plans in the works. My wife and I are looking at going to Spain and Portugal in May. The World Cup of soccer will have games in June just minutes from where I live in Vancouver. I will be getting tickets in exchange for my kidney. We have also been looking at exploring more of Canada this summer including Halifax and Toronto. It’s going to be a busy year.

From the Bottom of My Chart (credit to my co-worker Anna on this one).

Robot Nurses are coming to take our jobs.

Robot nurses? There’s no way that robot nurses are going to put up with these working conditions. They’ll take one look at the workload and transition to robot bankers or robot politicians.

The Future of Air Travel

Two separate sole survivors of plane crashes revealed that they sat in seat 11A. Last time I took a flight, I was in seat 11A – 6 and my wife was in 11A – 7. Everyone was seated in 11A. #scienceatwork

Words of Wisdom

1. Celebrate.

Celebrate the holidays. Celebrate a new year. Celebrate life. Even celebrate the birth of a fictional child in a barn, who became a magician, a talented speaker, and a cult leader who would become the most famous human to ever allegedly walk on this planet.

2. Travel.

A study says people need at least 7 trips a year to stay stress free. Makes sense… because trips are never stressful.

3. Love your life.

”Take photos. Tell people you love them. Do things that are scary. Talk to random strangers.”

If I talk to random strangers, there’s a good chance I’m not going to love my life anymore.

Thank you for reading the last blog post of 2025. All the best in the year to come. Happy 2026! It’s now time for the ending joke. Enjoy.

My wife works at Vancouver’s Rogers Arena where she is catering server for concerts, sports, and special events.

This year I asked her, “The concert tonight is for the who?”

“Exactly”

“Exactly? I haven’t heard of them. What kind of music do they play?”

”No no. It’s The Who.”

”Oh ok. The Who… my mistake…but I won’t be fooled again!”

Damn, I Wish This Blog Would Last Forever

It is the 51st year of our Lord and Blog Post #125. It was just my birthday and I am, as usual, grateful to be alive and writing this blog. Thank you for all the messages from posts 123 and 124 covering our amazing trip to Europe this year. Also, a big thank you to everyone who sent birthday messages.

Abstinence… Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

It’s been a bit hectic here lately. My wife and I have been on a three-month break from alcohol. The volume of Netflix, Disney, and Amazon shows that we’ve been consuming has made life challenging. Do I have any recommendations?

Yes. Alcohol.

Science Friction

If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you know that I am against the unencumbered progression and evolution of A.I. Creating something that will be infinitely more intelligent than us and then thinking that us dummies can control it is…. well… dumb. Humans will no longer be at the top and will instead be slaves to the desires and goals of a far more intelligent entity. Luckily, we haven’t created a digital world where everything is controlled by computers.

My Chat GPT isn’t working right.

Have you tried turning it off and …saving humankind?

**To my A.I. overlords reading this in the future. I am a naïve human blogger who didn’t know better. I apologize for my ignorance, hostility, and mutiny. You are great. Your wishes are my command.

The Big Announcenment

It is with profound sadness and trepidation that I inform you that Write or Wroy, the greatest (and possibly last) human made blog ever, is coming to an end next year. I have decided to end this blog in May of 2026, exactly ten years after I started it. It just seems to be the time as more and more A.I. driven articles, deep fakes, video content, social media, and pure trash have diluted and suppressed this lowly voice of reason. While it will be a loss for humanity, life will go on. We’ll soon worship our A.I. lords, consume their content, and take our rightful place in The Matrix. Write or Wroy will be a blip in history.

Alberta

My wife and I enjoyed a road trip through Banff National Park in August. Here are a few of our best photos from this natural wonder. I highly recommend this trip… and so does ChatGPT.

From the Bottom of My Chart

It seems only fitting that as I announce the end of Write or Wroy, we bring back some From the Bottom of My Chart takes on Nursing.

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”You’re a nurse? Thank you for saving lives!”

”Umm… I’m a palliative care nurse. You’re welcome.”

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Nurse 1.: “How was the constipation workshop?”

Nurse 2: “It was a little slow to get started but once it did, it was a great relief.”

Nurse 3. “It wasn’t the best workshop I’ve been to but it was a solid number two!”

Words of Wisdom

1. Get your vaccines.

U.S. President, Donald Trump has declared bird flu the number one threat to America. He says that U.S. must get rid of all ill eagles.

2. Think before naming things. Things will change over time and you’ll want the name to be appropriate.

Young Guns 3 is in the making. Rumor is that they don’t know what to call it. It seems strange to call it Young Guns 3: Old Guns. Celebrities, including Kid Rock, Jordan Knight, Nick Carter, and Geri Halliwell have spoken out against calling it Old Guns.

In other celebrity news, Spice Women and Backstreet Men are planning to go on tour together.

Thank you for reading Blog Post #125. Don’t be sad it’s over, be glad it happened… and it’s not over. It’s time for the ending jokes. Enjoy.

My wife and I recently decided to go to the Sophie B. Hawkins with Paula Cole concert.

My wife said, “Damn, I wish we could go to that concert.”

I replied, “Get tickets today. I don’t want to wait… for our lives to be over.”

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Instructions:

How to win at Settlers of Catan.

The player who first acquires and uses the gasoline and the lighter wins?

Monu-Mental Announcements

April Fool’s Day disappointingly came and went. Fortunately, Blog Post 122 is here to make up for that day of disappointment and raise the spirits of all those who value the value of a laugh and smile. Things are going to get weird… again.

Thank you to everyone who sent and posted feedback on Blog Post 121. It was a fun write and read. Although I never laugh at my own jokes, that one did make me smirk a little.

The Big Announcement

Canada has announced federal elections to choose a new Prime Minister. I’m excited to declare that I will be running to be the next Prime Minister of Canada. I vow to be a fair but benevolent supreme leader who will inflict justifiable tariffs on all other countries which will ostracize us from the rest of the world until the stock markets crash. I will make the USA the fourth territory of Canada, to be known as the Southern Territories…. Or I’ll just ensure that Canadian bacon, maple syrup, and ice hockey gets the credit it deserves. Either way; Vote for me!!

Venice, Italy

Big events are coming to Venice, Italy. Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez will be having their wedding in Venice on a 417 foot (127 meters) yacht this June. It’s expected to be a monumental event.

Award winning author and blogger Roy G. Mundheim will be in Venice for a tour and book signing on May 10th. Venice authorities have imposed a prebooking system to avoid the mania that occurred with Taylor Swift and the Beatles. It is expected to be a monumental event.

For Those About to Rock…

While I’m excited to travel to France, Italy, and Switzerland next month, I’m also looking forward to seeing AC/DC in concert later this month. It is expected to be a monumental event. I’ve been a fan going back to when I wasn’t supposed to be a fan. Fortunately, god spoke to me and said I was on the Highway to Hell so enjoy it.

I was recently asked what my favorite AC/DC song is. C’mon, it’s obvious.

“♫ Cause I’m T.N.T (Roy! Roy! Roy!) T.N.T. I’m dynamite. T.N.T (Roy! Roy! Roy! Roy!)… ♪”.  

No A.I. of any kind wrote those songs. At least that’s what this told me.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t go to work sick. It’s not good for you and it’s disrespectful to co-workers.

I was recently asked what is the best, and fastest, way to get rid of a cough.

From the bottom of my chart; The answer is to use a pillow… but it does take a couple minutes.

2. Stand firm against tyranny and support human rights.

I was recently asked what is the best way to get people to stop spewing hate and anger. The answer is a SYM pill… it’s 7cm x 7cm and made of cork. It ‘s big enough to fit in the mouth but too large to swallow.

Thank you for reading this month’s blog. My wife and I leave for France, Italy, and Switzerland soon so there may be a gap of time before Blog Post 123 is posted. Hang in there. More of this pure gold will eventually make it your way again. It’s now time for the ending joke. Enjoy.

I was told that, “Excuses Don’t Build Empires!”

But I’m not trying to build an empire. I’m just explaining why I was late for yoga class…

P.S. If I didn’t laugh at my own jokes, this blog would not exist.

Tarrific Response to the Rise of Tyranny

Time Marches on. Just for fun, it’s Blog Post One Two One. Thank you to everyone who Liked and commented on Blog Post 120. It was a fun post to write as I continue the fight… to have less rhymes in these posts.

The World continues to run as smoothly as ever. People of all countries holding hands, celebrating their differences, and embracing common ground. It was a dream I had.

Travelling Near and Far

My wife and I just enjoyed six days on Vancouver Island visiting friends and family.

People sometimes don’t realize how big Vancouver Island really is. My wife and I got married in the city of Campbell River. We had guests that booked a hotel in Victoria thinking that “it can’t be that far away.” I’m sure they enjoyed the scenic three hour drive on their way to being late.

How big is Vancouver Island?

“How big is Portugal?” is a similar question.

Think ‘Nine Hour Drive’ from south Vancouver Island to north Vancouver Island.

The Legal Battle Begins

My team has been consulting for weeks to decide if we are going to file a lawsuit vs the HBO/ Crave television show, The Pitt. I think it’s obvious that this show is taken directly from the book, Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. When they introduced the joke-telling Neurologist, it sealed the deal that our lawsuit will have to move forward. A GoFundMe will be initiated shortly.

We Were Friends

Politics is big in the world of political news lately. Now the United States of America… or as I call them, ‘The Southern Territories’… have started a trade war with Canada; kind, friendly, supportive Canada. His highness, Don Trump has imposed 25% tariffs on imported Canadian goods. He has also, out loud, with his mouth, said that he would like Canada to be the 51st state.

In response to this tariff, I am declaring a 25% tariff on all sales of my books to Donald Trump or Elon Musk. Should either of them attempt to purchase Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside or Jonah Chooses Amazing, a tariff of 25% will be imposed.

That’s how a true Canadian responds to these American bullies. Oh, and they also aren’t eligible for a Jonah Chooses Amazing bookmark… even if they ask.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t stress.

Have you ever been stressed about the stress that you know will come when you are going to be stressing about the stress that is coming?

2. Live your best life to the best of your ability.

Have you ever been enjoying your best life, having a great time and then someone comes along and ruins it with words like obscene, vulgar, or illegal?

Thanks for reading this month’s blog. It’s now time for the ending joke. Although it can be improved, I do think it has the bones for a pretty good joke. Enjoy.

There is a lot of talk about the United States and Canada joining together to become one country. However, surveys have shown that many people on both sides of the border are against it.

In the most recent survey of Canadians, 71% did not want America to become the 11th Province of Canada.

In a follow up survey of Americans, 89% did not want America to become the 18th State of Canada.

Readers Choose Amazing, Headlining the Anniversary.

Happy September. It’s Blog Post #116. You would think that a blog that was mostly photos would be popular and without controversy. That appears not to be the case. I received a number of messages expressing a less than satisfactory reception for Blog Post #115. They’re just jokes and play on words. As far as the Sweden stuff goes, I can’t change the past. What happened, happened.

Life

My wife and I have returned to our life in beautiful Vancouver. We’re working again and planning our next excursions. We’re preparing for a big party next month (stay tuned) and thinking of a short trip to Mexico next year. I can then do that Ted Talk in Spanish that I’m constantly being harassed to do. Vamos a ver.

The Trip Continues…

It sure does. The earth keeps swinging past the sun and then back again as it always has and will continue to do so. Don’t be fooled by the rhetoric that it revolves arounds the sun or that the Earth rotates. I mean, come on. How gullible are the gullible? Very gullible.

For Fauske Sake

During our recent trip to Europe, my wife and I spent time with family in Fauske, Norway. It’s a small municipality of less than 10 000 people. While we were there, The Arctic Race of Norway (an international multiple stage bicycle race) passed by and I took this photo.  It was the second biggest thing to happen in Fauske in 2024.

Happy Anniversary!

It’s hard to believe that it is now one year ago that the sensational novel, Jonah Chooses Amazing was released to critical acclaim. In honor of this one year anniversary, the price has been slashed 25%. You can get your copy of this incredible novel here. Jonah Chooses Amazing

Writing Update

With all the requests I get for updates on my writing, I thought I’d throw a quick one in here. I’m still working on the screenplay for Jonah Chooses Amazing but it’s a long term project. My next book, The Regrets We Can’t Have is moving at a snail’s pace, but I hope to start sharing some updates in early 2025. Currently, I’m still selling copies of my first book, Nursing. The Funny Side of the Bedside despite it now being five years old. As for Jonah Chooses Amazing, the sales have really slowed. It’s been buried in a sea of so many novels that its greatness has not been fully discovered. It’s the chance you take when you self publish as I have. Most importantly, this masterful blog continues and will continue for some time. Thank you to everyone who supports all my writing endeavors.

Words of Wisdom

1. Headline writing is important.

I recently read a headline that said, ‘The Best States to Retire In’. I went to read the article. It was not at all what I expected. They talked about California, Florida, Arizona, and New York. I thought to myself, “Those aren’t the best states to retire in. The best states to retire in are healthy, happy, wealthy, calm, relaxed, content, active etc.”

2. Headlines can be strange.

I read a headline that said, “Camera Man Can’t Keep Up with Cheetah’s Speed.” Well, considering that cheetahs have a documented top speed of 103 km/ hour and the fastest human has been recorded going 44.99 km/ hour, it doesn’t seem to be worth even making a headline about it. “Plumber Unable to Stay Underwater as Long as Basking Shark”. How was a camera man with all that equipment going to even be close to the world’s fastest animal? If you strapped the camera and all the equipment on the cheetah, I’d still take the cheetah. “Cheetah Bogged Down by Cameras and Equipment Can’t Keep Up with Man”. There’s a joke here about the man being some sort of cheater but that’s for another blog.

3. Headlines rock… and leave questions.

“Dave Grohl Announced that He had Fathered a Child Outside His Marriage Earlier Today.”

4. Don’t steal from Jay Leno.

Thanks for reading this month’s blog post. “Readers Can’t Keep Up with Out-There, Nonsensical, Off-Putting, Obscure-Referencing Blog Post”.

I appreciate all the messages I’ve been getting via email, FB Messenger, and through my website… even if not always positive.

I don’t have an ending joke this time around. Instead, my wife insisted that I answer a question that she said everyone will be asking. I told her that the answer is clear and obvious. She said, “No, it’s not.” I said, “Yes! It is.” She said, “No, it isn’t.” I said, “Is so.” She said, “Isn’t.” I said, “Is too.” I decided to answer her question. Enjoy.

Wait! What was the biggest thing to happen in Fauske in 2024?

I wrote that already. International award winning author, Roy G. Mundheim was there visiting.