Tag: canada

Monu-Mental Announcements

April Fool’s Day disappointingly came and went. Fortunately, Blog Post 122 is here to make up for that day of disappointment and raise the spirits of all those who value the value of a laugh and smile. Things are going to get weird… again.

Thank you to everyone who sent and posted feedback on Blog Post 121. It was a fun write and read. Although I never laugh at my own jokes, that one did make me smirk a little.

The Big Announcement

Canada has announced federal elections to choose a new Prime Minister. I’m excited to declare that I will be running to be the next Prime Minister of Canada. I vow to be a fair but benevolent supreme leader who will inflict justifiable tariffs on all other countries which will ostracize us from the rest of the world until the stock markets crash. I will make the USA the fourth territory of Canada, to be known as the Southern Territories…. Or I’ll just ensure that Canadian bacon, maple syrup, and ice hockey gets the credit it deserves. Either way; Vote for me!!

Venice, Italy

Big events are coming to Venice, Italy. Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez will be having their wedding in Venice on a 417 foot (127 meters) yacht this June. It’s expected to be a monumental event.

Award winning author and blogger Roy G. Mundheim will be in Venice for a tour and book signing on May 10th. Venice authorities have imposed a prebooking system to avoid the mania that occurred with Taylor Swift and the Beatles. It is expected to be a monumental event.

For Those About to Rock…

While I’m excited to travel to France, Italy, and Switzerland next month, I’m also looking forward to seeing AC/DC in concert later this month. It is expected to be a monumental event. I’ve been a fan going back to when I wasn’t supposed to be a fan. Fortunately, god spoke to me and said I was on the Highway to Hell so enjoy it.

I was recently asked what my favorite AC/DC song is. C’mon, it’s obvious.

“♫ Cause I’m T.N.T (Roy! Roy! Roy!) T.N.T. I’m dynamite. T.N.T (Roy! Roy! Roy! Roy!)… ♪”.  

No A.I. of any kind wrote those songs. At least that’s what this told me.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t go to work sick. It’s not good for you and it’s disrespectful to co-workers.

I was recently asked what is the best, and fastest, way to get rid of a cough.

From the bottom of my chart; The answer is to use a pillow… but it does take a couple minutes.

2. Stand firm against tyranny and support human rights.

I was recently asked what is the best way to get people to stop spewing hate and anger. The answer is a SYM pill… it’s 7cm x 7cm and made of cork. It ‘s big enough to fit in the mouth but too large to swallow.

Thank you for reading this month’s blog. My wife and I leave for France, Italy, and Switzerland soon so there may be a gap of time before Blog Post 123 is posted. Hang in there. More of this pure gold will eventually make it your way again. It’s now time for the ending joke. Enjoy.

I was told that, “Excuses Don’t Build Empires!”

But I’m not trying to build an empire. I’m just explaining why I was late for yoga class…

P.S. If I didn’t laugh at my own jokes, this blog would not exist.

Tarrific Response to the Rise of Tyranny

Time Marches on. Just for fun, it’s Blog Post One Two One. Thank you to everyone who Liked and commented on Blog Post 120. It was a fun post to write as I continue the fight… to have less rhymes in these posts.

The World continues to run as smoothly as ever. People of all countries holding hands, celebrating their differences, and embracing common ground. It was a dream I had.

Travelling Near and Far

My wife and I just enjoyed six days on Vancouver Island visiting friends and family.

People sometimes don’t realize how big Vancouver Island really is. My wife and I got married in the city of Campbell River. We had guests that booked a hotel in Victoria thinking that “it can’t be that far away.” I’m sure they enjoyed the scenic three hour drive on their way to being late.

How big is Vancouver Island?

“How big is Portugal?” is a similar question.

Think ‘Nine Hour Drive’ from south Vancouver Island to north Vancouver Island.

The Legal Battle Begins

My team has been consulting for weeks to decide if we are going to file a lawsuit vs the HBO/ Crave television show, The Pitt. I think it’s obvious that this show is taken directly from the book, Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. When they introduced the joke-telling Neurologist, it sealed the deal that our lawsuit will have to move forward. A GoFundMe will be initiated shortly.

We Were Friends

Politics is big in the world of political news lately. Now the United States of America… or as I call them, ‘The Southern Territories’… have started a trade war with Canada; kind, friendly, supportive Canada. His highness, Don Trump has imposed 25% tariffs on imported Canadian goods. He has also, out loud, with his mouth, said that he would like Canada to be the 51st state.

In response to this tariff, I am declaring a 25% tariff on all sales of my books to Donald Trump or Elon Musk. Should either of them attempt to purchase Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside or Jonah Chooses Amazing, a tariff of 25% will be imposed.

That’s how a true Canadian responds to these American bullies. Oh, and they also aren’t eligible for a Jonah Chooses Amazing bookmark… even if they ask.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t stress.

Have you ever been stressed about the stress that you know will come when you are going to be stressing about the stress that is coming?

2. Live your best life to the best of your ability.

Have you ever been enjoying your best life, having a great time and then someone comes along and ruins it with words like obscene, vulgar, or illegal?

Thanks for reading this month’s blog. It’s now time for the ending joke. Although it can be improved, I do think it has the bones for a pretty good joke. Enjoy.

There is a lot of talk about the United States and Canada joining together to become one country. However, surveys have shown that many people on both sides of the border are against it.

In the most recent survey of Canadians, 71% did not want America to become the 11th Province of Canada.

In a follow up survey of Americans, 89% did not want America to become the 18th State of Canada.