It’s time for Blog Post #36 to enter the mix. Other blogs may get things like “readers” and “followers” and “subscribers” due to great writing, advice, and story telling or whatever…. but this blog is The Blog: Puffy sarcasm, crazy ideas, and tender goodness that’s stocked full of snarky ridiculousness. Also, this blog is Grammarly free. This blog doesn’t need Grammarly to get the words put in the right places to make the sense of the things to say the stuff. No spelling errors ever either. This blog is pure glold.

Last post saw some backlash as my wife was the subject of my ending jokes. They’re jokes people and when I married my wife, I never vowed to never laugh at her. I was going write another joke about her but after all the protests (including from my wife), I decided to leave the joke out. It was going to go like this:

My wife and I were on the elevator and a guy got on with his large dog. The dog began licking her hand. My wife pulled her hand away and said, ‘No, you shouldn’t do that, I have a lot of sunscreen on.’

The guy then said, “She’s slobbery and a bit disgusting right now.” 

I was angry and said to the guy, “Are you talking to your dog… about my wife?”

So being a good husband and an all-around good citizen, I left that joke out. It’s my readers who now suffer but there’s more bad jokes where that came from.

Vancouver Island

This photo was taken in Victoria on Vancouver Island two years ago on a family trip. With the natural beauty of Vancouver Island, even an amateur photographer like myself can look like a pro.

Note: This blog is Photoshop free….and Grammarly free….and AntiRedundancy free.

Words of Wisdom.

1. Follow your dreams first and a paycheck second. You only have so much time on this flying spinning liquid-filled ball. Make it about your experience, not your acquisitions. My dreem is to win a speling be. Wish me luck.

2. Be a minimalist like me….and these guys. Don’t be controlled, ruled, and manipulated by the consumer-driven market. Freedom is found when what you have is all you need. Have you ever tried to buy a patio umbrella in the middle of summer? It’s almost impossible. However, if you’re looking for a Halloween costume, then summer is your time to shop ‘til you drop. Skip.

3. Words of Wisdom from Alex. Recently, I was chosen to be the M.C. of my friends’ wedding. It was an honour. Before the wedding, the bride (Alex) was talking about choosing the food; more specifically what vegetables to have with dinner. She was offered asparagus as an option. She said, “No, no, no. Thank you.” Have you ever been to a wedding that served asparagus? Skip. Never serve asparagus at a large event….ever. Your special event will be extra special.

4. Having a great slogan is very important. Many people believe that Donald Trump won the American election due to his great slogan, “Make America Great Again.” After the election, many companies tried to capitalize on that formula. There was a sweater company that tried the slogan, “Making American Cardigans.” There was the automobile company that went with, “Making American Cars Again.” There was also a pharmaceutical company that tried it to promote their E.D. drug. There was also the advertising company that specialized in slogans. Their own slogan: “Look at Trump. Making Americans slogan.”

It’s time for the ending joke. If you really got all of Words of Wisdom, then you’ve already laughed out loud. I suspect only 1 in 20 will actually get all of #4 and considering I only have 19 readers, that may mean: no one. This joke is dedicated to my wife and is mostly a true story (all true except one word). I felt bad when so many people were upset about me making fun of my wife in the last blog post. So with that, I give you this olive branch skewered with pure ridiculous Royal cheese. Enjoy.

My wife and I were walking by the tennis courts near our place. People with their tennis racquets in hand were waiting on the sides and on benches while others were on the courts in heated five setters. My wife said, “I wonder if there’s a place to put your name down or book the court ahead of time?” Without hesitation I said, “No, I think it’s first come, first serve…..Love 🙂 .”

 

Blog Post #35 is here. Phew!….that was close. I almost didn’t get this done for the month of July (I have not missed a month since starting this blog in 2016). Luckily for my loyal readers, a summer hiatus has been avoided. While I have numerous projects on the go, I don’t have any new published works to share. I did have one of my articles on the Vancouver Coastal Health website get re-posted but it requires a log-in for Vancouver Coastal Health employees only. Disappointing.

New York

I was hoping to take a trip to New York City this October but in the end my wife and I decided to stop in London, England for a few days instead. I took this photo in New York’s Central Park in 2015. I love New York City!

Las Vegas

A bit of impulse buying (followed by a mild case of buyer’s remorse) has lead to my wife and I travelling to Las Vegas at the end of September. We’ll then only have a few days back home before heading to Great Britain for 3 weeks. Neither one of us have been to ‘Sin City’ so when the chance came to go with friends, we didn’t really have a choice. Well, I guess we did have a couple choices; go to Vegas or don’t go to Vegas. In the end, for the sake of my readers, I chose to go to Las Vegas. As the saying goes, “What happens in Vegas….ends up in this blog.”

Intermittent Fasting

I received a couple of e-mails asking about intermittent fasting and how it’s been going. It’s going well and I’m really enjoying the lifestyle more than anything. It’s not a miracle-working secret though. It’s always about calories in versus calories out. I just find intermittent fasting makes keeping within my calorie needs a bit easier. My wife is having a lot of success with it. After initially saying ‘no’ to intermittent fasting, she has embraced it and lost some unwanted fat in the process.

One of the great things with intermittent fasting is when you don’t eat until 3 or 4 in the afternoon, the food tastes so good. It’s like the taste of a beer after going two days without a beer. I’m just joking of course….I don’t go two days without a beer.

Words of Wisdom

1. Always look at expiry dates on foods. You don’t want to eat or drink something that has spoiled. Food poisoning sucks. Recently, I had a canned sparkling water. At the top of the can, it read, “For packaging date, see under can.” Under the can, it read, “12-5246-37-19.” Is that a Star-date? Was this can packaged in the future and brought back by Marty McFly?

2. When people ask for help, try to help them out. You’ll feel good about you. Recently my aunt asked if anyone knew a rock polisher? I replied, “Andy Dufrain is quite good but he’s in Mexico.” I didn’t actually say that….. I said, “I know Dwayne Johnson’s massage therapist.” ….and ‘bam!’ I felt good about me.

Thanks for reading my summer musings. This month my wife and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. It only seems fitting to include her in the ending jokes. Enjoy.

My wife recently questioned whether she could work in a vegan restaurant. She said, “No. People would ask me for recommendations and I’d say, ‘yeah, the place across the street that serves real food’.” #meattoo

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I have to say this about my wife: Although she’s selfish, self centered, and usually only thinking of herself, she’s still the love of my wife.

Blog Post #34 is now ….and I’m hungry! My wife and I are experimenting with intermittent fasting. We fast for 16 hours and have an eight-hour eating window to get our calories in. It’s mainly about skipping breakfast (the most important meal of the day) and delaying your first meal until 2, 3, or 4pm. The science claim is that intermittent fasting increases fat loss, improves health, and allows for more diet flexibility (all I read there was “beer”). The biggest benefit I’ve seen is in my morning routine. I have more time for writing. Will it translate to more regular blog posts? Maybe…..or maybe more published articles.

Unfortunately, all my blog posts at the Vancouver Coastal Health: Up For Discussion blog have been deleted. VCH has moved to an internal access only site and they have re-started the discussion forum. It’s a bit disappointing as I was using those posts as writing samples when in discussion with editors about writing on health. Now my Published Work is comprised mostly of beer writing. On that note: I had another article posted in The Beer Blog covering Mount Arrowsmith Brewing. You can check it out here:  https://thebeerblog.wixsite.com/thebeerblog/home/mount-arrowsmith-brewing
USA

My wife and I have spent a lot of time in the USA already this year. We travelled to San Jose, San Francisco, and Portland in the last few months. We also have a couple upcoming trips to Washington State over the summer. Despite the political and social issues, the US is still an interesting and amazing country to visit. I took this photo in San Francisco on our way to Alcatraz Island.

Great Britain

The next big trip for my wife and I is Great Britain this October. We’re still working on all the places we plan to go but with about three weeks to tour around, there should be some writing and photography opportunities. Windsor Castle is not on the list.

I recently overheard someone say, “I don’t think Harry and Meghan are going to last.” You know who I don’t think are going to last? Elizabeth and Phillip. I’m actually looking forward to see who Queen Elizabeth marries next. Did you see the Royal Wedding last month? The two best things about that wedding; it was Royal and involved a Canadian.

Bonus Photo: If you missed the wedding on TV or haven’t seen any pictures, this is my photo showing everything important that you may have missed.

Words of Wisdom

1. Celebrate you. Celebrate your achievements. Celebrate being alive and every milestone along the way. Next month, my wife and I will celebrate our 11th anniversary…. The tontine continues.

2. Whether intermittent fasting is for you or not, protein is your most important macronutrient. The easiest way (and IMO healthiest way) to meet your protein needs is to eat animals. Note: I have received e-mails criticizing my stance on vegetarianism. I may take my campaign to Twitter #MeatToo.

3. Don’t procrastinate on things you want to do. Time is running out for all of us….maybe not Queen Elizabeth, Keith Richards, or Betty White….but for the rest of us; Don’t wait!

Nothing brings you more joy than the ending jokes from Roy. Enjoy.

Sitting by the pool in Mexico, my father-in-law said to me, “Look at that. There’s a one-legged bird running around.”
I said, “Well it’s not exactly running.”

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The Nursing Name Game 2. There were two patients in a double room. They were both named Skye. The nurse and the doctor were in the room discussing their care.
Dr. “I need to put this Skye on medications.”
RN “What do you mean this guy? She’s a woman.”
Dr. “I know she’s a woman but this Skye has an infection.”
RN “This guy has an infection? What guy? What about this Skye? She has the fever.”
Dr. “She’s a woman. Maybe this Skye and this Skye both have infections.”
RN “This guy and this guy? What are you talking about?”
Dr. “I’m talking about this Skye, not this Skye.”
RN “They’re both women. This Skye needs antibiotics.”
Dr “This guy?”
You “OMG Roy! What was that?”

Happy May and here it be; Blog Post #33. April zipped by as my wife and I made several trips to Vancouver Island. This caused a slowing of blog post frequency and general all-around writing. We’ve been working to renovate and sell our Vancouver Island home. When I say ‘renovate’, I really mean ‘get people who know what they’re doing to go in and fix it’. When it comes to construction, I’m as useful as a baker doing roadwork. Now that our house is ready for sale, I’m hopeful that we’ll sell quickly and I’ll get back to writing on a more regular basis.

Beer There. Done That.

It seems that lately, everything I’ve written has been focused on beer. While it is my favorite drink, there is one or two other topics I’d like to start covering. Unfortunately (or fortunately), my wife and I (along with her two cousins and husbands) just came back from a five day trip to Portland, Oregon so you could say there was a slight focus on breweries and beer. They only have a hundred or so breweries in Portland. We were fortunate to have gone to Royale Brewing; a great combo of the two best things on earth: Roys and Ales.

How big is beer in Portland?

My wife’s cousin received a phone call from her boss asking her if she had time for a couple questions. She could have said, “I’m on vacation in Portland”, “I’m sight-seeing in Portland” or “I’m visiting Portland.” She said, “I’m drinking beer in Portland!!”

The bosses reply:  “I wish I was drinking beer in Portland.”

Two hours later my wife’s cousin got another call from a co-worker wanting to ask her some questions. She replied, “I’m in beer drinking Portland!!”

Published

Keeping with the beer theme, I had another guest post published at The Beer Blog. It’s a review of one of my favorite beers and the subject of one of my most popular ending jokes. You can check it out here:
https://thebeerblog.wixsite.com/thebeerblog/home/beer-review-swedish-gymnast-twin-city-brewing
My wife and I found a great place to run in Portland. The Columbia Slough Trail  provided a great path along a calm, condensed waterway. It was near our hotel and the weather held true. Here is the photo I took showing the intense and tall green grass and the welcoming blue sky.

Words of Wisdom

1. Keep the workouts going! If you travel often, it’s important to keep at it. You don’t want to be taking long breaks from exercise. It will continually feel like you’re starting and stopping. Exercise is not a punishment (although it can feel that way until an adequate level of fitness is achieved). It is also more than just a tool to lose weight or get fit. Those are some of the benefits of a lifestyle that incorporates exercise in it. Make exercise part of who you are and what you do and you’ll take it on the road with you.

2. Teach others. Pass on your knowledge. I recently drove by a house on Vancouver Island that had three deer in the front yard eating grass. At the top of the step, in front of the door was a cat over-seeing the deer’s activity. Although I didn’t hear it, I know the cat said, “Good. Good. First you eat the grass….then you throw up the hairballs.”

Really?

It’s time for the ending jokes. You mean there’s more? Yes….but they’re terrible. Enjoy.
My wife wanted to go out for dinner.

I said, “Great. Where do you want to go?”

She said she wanted to go to a restaurant near Main Street called ‘Whip’.”

I said, “OK….but after we’ll need to go to NeNe.” 
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My wife’s aunt told a story where her friend had opened his back door and found two rattlesnakes on the porch. In true Canadian fashion, he went back in the house and grabbed his hockey stick. He then used it to try to get the snakes off the porch and into the back wilderness.

I said, “Cmon. We all know that if you want to deal with snakes, you don’t use a hockey stick. You go and grab your flute!”

 

Without further a dew, it’s Blog Post # 32. Thank you to everyone who sent messages, e-mails, and social media posts with condolences along with appreciation for Blog Post #31 and my tribute to my Dad.

February was a short but eventful month. My wife and I did make it to San Francisco and had the best time possible.

True Story: We were at the airport and just passed the Burger King when an announcement came on the overhead, “Could Ron……Ronald McDonald please come to the service desk? Ronald McDonald.”

“Really? Shouldn’t he be in a storm drain somewhere making It 2: It’s That?” *(the rest of this joke was removed by the author due to questionable content)

Upon arriving in San Francisco, I immediately did as I said I would and sent a message on Twitter that said “Rice-a-roni.” If you’re wondering why, you’ll have to go back and read Blog Post #30. We then took the train to San Jose and watched our beloved hockey team (the Vancouver Canucks) lose 4-1. I was happy they at least scored one goal to cheer for. T.A.N.Y.

Once back in San Francisco, we did the humanitarian tour of Napa and Sonoma Valley. Here’s the photo I took after we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge on the way to Sonoma Valley.

We first visited Jacuzzi Winery and learned that they were also the inventors of the Jacuzzi tub. They also make high end olive oil. One person on the tour couldn’t stop talking about great olive oils and where the best ones were. I said, “I’m here for the wine. Last time I tried to buy Olive Oil, this one-eyed sailor with big arms got really upset.” The Jacuzzi wine was quite good.

We then went to Madonna Winery (no affiliation with the singer). There was no olive oil there and I can’t help but think that they missed the marketing boat. Like a Virgin Olive Oil….eh? huh?….yeah, that’s what I thought….brilliant!!

We made it to Alcatraz Island, a tourist must-do that was really enjoyable. The prison cells were so small (5ft by 9ft). How did people live like that? As my friend Jamie told us, “It’s just like your apartment in downtown Vancouver.”

Now that I’m back in my ‘prison cell’ in Vancouver, I’m moving forward with my writing and trying to get more of my work out into the world. My friend Ron, just started a beer blog (Why didn’t I think of that?!) and I’m honored to be the first to guest-post for him. It’s a short article I wrote on my favorite beer bar in Vancouver. You can check it out here:
https://thebeerblog.wixsite.com/thebeerblog/home/the-alibi-room-vancouver-b.c.-canada .

If you’re a fan of craft beer, give his site a follow on Twitter, Facebook, or join his e-mail list.

Words of Wisdom

1. Always learn from your mistakes of the past. My wife and I used to eat rotisserie chicken. Years ago, she got sick after eating rotisserie chicken and no longer buys it. She still won’t eat rotisserie chicken to this day. I don’t understand how she can keep drinking wine.

2. So many friends of mine are having babies or announcing babies on the way. It’s very important for you parents and would-be parents to update your budget and financial plan. Assess these categories:

1. Clothing
2. Food
3. Daycare
4. Housing
5. Education

If your math is correct, it should then look something like this:

1. #!$@!
2. s#@$!
3. #&@!
4. d%$@!
5. @#!!

It’s time for the ending jokes. I’ve mentioned a number of my friends in this post so I thought I’d keep that theme going. Enjoy!

My friend Rich and his wife just had a baby. We were all to meet up for dinner and drinks at his place. He texted me and said, “You can stay at our place if you can deal with the crying baby! haha”

”Oh Rich! There’s always been a crying baby at your place. Now, there’s two.”

”Lol…good one. If I get too drunk, you’re on diaper duty!”

”Umm….your diaper?”

“I’m just going to stop texting now. See you soon.”

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My best friend Corey is a relatively new Ultrarunner. He was telling me about an amazing race he ran up in the mountains outside of Tokyo. “I ran for 7 hrs up in the mountain covering ‘who knows how many’ kilometers… and finished. Twenty five percent of the people who started didn’t finish. I did it! Then we hung out in this cool mountain town with little eateries and multiple bars eating great food, and trying all these beers and great drinks. It was an epic pub crawl.”

My response: “That’s awesome! Good for you. Oh….and pretty good you finished the race too.”

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After returning home to Vancouver, I told my friend Dave all about the Jacuzzi winery. He looked at me, frowned, and said, “I’d never want to go there!”

“Huh?”

“I wouldn’t want to get myself into hot water.”

 

The hiatus is over and now with a heavy heart, Blog Post #31 is here. My Dad died suddenly last month. I found myself in a whirlwind of emotions, tasks, and life changing moments that left my writing dormant. My Dad was the biggest fan of this blog and the ‘Published Works’ I’ve produced so far as a freelance writer. He was very proud. I’ll miss sharing my writing with him.

Requesting no service, I know that my Dad would have wanted me to write his obituary. He would have wanted simple and to the point with a touch of humour in as few words as possible. The following link is to the obituary I wrote for my Dad, honoring his life the way he would have wanted.

https://www.albernivalleynews.com/obituaries/harald-mundheim/

Leaving Paradise (the place my Dad called home for nearly 50 years).

Life Lessons

While everyone has or had a father, I am fortunate to have had a Dad. He encouraged and supported me in sports, education, and hobbies. Through my successes, failures, and everything in between, he was a proud father who always wanted the best for me. While I appreciated his love and support in life, it’s only now with his passing that I truly see how much he meant to me and how much I meant to him. His love and support was always there. I’ve never known life without those things until now.

Moving Forward

As I’ve written before, life will kick you in the teeth. Know it. Expect it. Accept it. It’s resilience, fortitude, gratitude, and perseverance that allows us to overcome, become stronger, and thrive. ‘Moving forward’ is the tool and defense mechanism I try to use when confronted with life’s foot to the face. The best defense is a good offense. My Dad would have wanted me to continue to move forward and that is what I intend to do. It’s what he always did.

Words of Wisdom

1. When you lose someone you love; “Don’t be sad it’s over. Be happy it happened.” (although it’s so very ok to be sad it’s over) “Remember the good times. Laugh at the stupid times.” Recall the lessons. Cry. Celebrate their life.

2. Let the past be a guide, a roadmap, a lesson but don’t get stuck there. You can’t change the past. You only have now and moving forward.

3. Look for your spark, your joy, your reason for all you do. If you’re not excited to get up and get out there, stop what you’re doing and do something else. The time we spend alive is not very tall.

My sense of humour definitely comes from my Dad. Sorry, Mom. There is no way I would leave out the ending jokes even though this blog post has been somber and heavy in content. My Dad loved a good joke. He also liked some of my jokes. Enjoy.

After my Dad met my Mom for the first time, they again saw each other at a dance. As my Mom describes it, “He came over and asked me to dance. I guess he thought he could dance. He couldn’t dance. It was more like he took me for a walk around the dance floor….but it was a nice walk.”

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My Swedish jokes come from a joke my Dad told me when I was a kid:

“What do you call a Swede with a war medal?”

“A thief.”

I didn’t get it until I learned a bit of Norway’s World War II history. From that joke, the Swedish jokes I’ve shared on this blog were born. Here’s another one that I told my Dad that he found quite funny.

At the local brewery where I grew up, there is a beer called “The Swedish Gymnast”. Once you’ve finished the beer and are left with an empty glass, you then have “The Swedish Soldier”.

Blog Post #31 is dedicated to my Dad, Harald Mundheim. He raised, supported, encouraged, and loved me with everything he had. I will miss him deeply for the rest of my life.

Happy February! It’s Blog Post #30 and lots to share. This year did not start well. First, I got the deadliest affliction known to humans….the dreaded man-cold! Then, I discovered that the first article I ever published is no longer available on-line as the site seems to have been shut down. Then, I received multiple writing rejections on multiple fronts. Somehow, it’s all good though.

A weird thing can happen when you put yourself out there into the world….Rejection! Learning often comes after criticism, rejection, and disappointment though. I’ve recently been learning my freakin’ face off. With that said, it is the risk-reward of putting yourself out there and it must be done if life is to be lived optimally and on your own terms.

Humour in Hell

Did you read “Humour in Healthcare 3”? If you didn’t, you missed it. I withdrew the post from my workplace blog after receiving an e-mail about some ‘concerns’. Questions about the appropriateness of the content were expressed and for that reason, I did volunteer to have it removed. While I don’t agree and feel that the jokes are both funny and appropriate, I fully understand that a health organization must closely monitor and scrutinize content which represents their policies, goals, and mission. All names and identifying features are removed/changed when talking about patients and often the stories are, in fact, completely made up. I was not going to write for my workplace blog anymore but then I had a change of heart. This was a learning opportunity. I was initially very disappointed and my ego was hurt. With a little time, the ego healed and perspective came back. Instead, I decided to re-write the post, removing the controversial stories/jokes, and putting myself out there once again. Check it out here: http://vchblogs.ca/humour-healthcare-3-2/

Action

Next, I contacted a healthcare website (Confident Voices in Healthcare) and explained the situation with my first written article and asked if they would publish it. I received a resounding “yes” and am proud to say it’s back up for people to read (complete with the proper punctuation this time and a bio of the author….love that author!) Check it out here: http://www.confidentvoices.com/2018/01/24/sylvia-moreau-a-nurses-story-life-affirming-message/
Thank you to Beth Boynton for seeing the value of this article and publishing it.

I took this photo of Phewa Lake in Pokhara, Nepal in 2013.

Published!

It’s not all criticism, rejection, and disappointment. If you keep fishing, you’re eventually going to get a bite. I recently had an article published at ‘Blake Writes’, a new Men’s Lifestyle Blog looking to break away from the media’s idea of normal and mainstream. Blake Writes looks to cater to a more broad and diverse audience of men. I hope to write more articles for Blake Writes in the future. You can read my article here (please note that this was not the title I wrote):
https://www.blakewrites.com/articles/time-to-turn-up
My title was “Have Your Drink…..and drink it too”.                                                     *Note: Many people, including myself, have had trouble reading this article on their phone or IPad as one side/margin is cut off. It works best on a laptop or desktop computer. I have contacted the administrator to inform him of the problem.

San Francisco Bound

In less than two weeks my wife and are going to San Francisco, California, U.S.A. We’re looking forward to a short get-away (1 week), seeing the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, and Napa Valley. We’re also going to watch our beloved local hockey team, the Vancouver Canucks, as they play the Sharks in San Jose. There should be some travel writing material acquired and hopefully an article to share in the near future.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t let rejection or the fear of rejection stop you from taking action towards your passion and worthwhile pursuits. Here are the choices:

A. Take action and have success.

B. Take action, fail, and then learn.

C. Take no action and ensure no success.

2. Sometimes you just have to work on the project even when you don’t feel like working on the project. Jocko Willink – “What do I do when I don’t feel like hammering on the project?….I HAMMER on the project!” I’ve been really trying to H.O.T. P. (hammer on the project) more often and consistently. I hope to continue hot ‘p’ing and you should too.

It’s time for the ending jokes. These are not for millennials and may in fact not really be for anyone. A lot of people won’t get them….but when has that ever stopped me from posting them? Enjoy.

My wife’s cousin recently said, “Every time I hear the song, ‘Foxy Lady’, I always think of Dana Carvey as Garth in Wayne’s World doing the little finger-ears and mouthing, ‘Foxxxxy’……. ‘Ladyyy’. He hasn’t come up with anything new for a while.”
I responded, “That’s because he’s dead.”
“He’s dead!? I didn’t know that.”
“He died in 1970…greatest guitarist ever!”

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My wife recently asked me, “What should we do first when we get to San Francisco?”
I said, “First thing I have to do is send a message on Twitter that says, “Rice-a-roni”.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a San Francisco tweet.”

 

Happy 2018! It’s Blog Post #29 and the best way to start the new year….besides running. Eating right would also be a good way to start….and yoga. The gym would be good too. Sleeping well….that’s a great way to start the year. Being kind to others….that might be a better way to start the new year. Ok, so Blog Post #29 is among the top 50 ways to start the new year!

Celebrating the new year is great but every day can be celebrated. Celebrate being alive and having opportunity to love, contribute, grow, and have good feelings (joy, happiness, fun, etc.). I took this photo in the evening under a bridge in Guangzhou, China in 2016. Dancing, playing, relaxing, and enjoying the moment…

A Review. 2017

It’s been an interesting year. I’m proud to say I made progress in 2017. My career as an R.N. has improved immensely as I’ve been slowly pushed into more leadership roles. The steep learning curve and subsequent discomfort has been embraced rather than resisted (my default reaction). Travels in 2017 included Sayulita and Guayabitos in western Mexico. Poulsbo, Bellingham, and Seattle in the western United States were also visited and enjoyed, even if not all that far from where I live. Looking ahead, San Fransisco, Portland, and Great Britain (Scotland and Ireland) are next on the list. I missed 5 workouts in 2017 so I think I can honestly say that it’s a part of my life now. I am 19.4 lbs (8.8 kg) lighter than I was in January 2016. Writing has been amazing in 2017. First, there’s still this blog….this great big beautiful blog. Next, I’ve contributed to my workplace blog not only with humour but also with worthwhile issues for those who work in healthcare. The end of 2017 saw another one of my ‘Humour in Healthcare’ blog posts go online. You can check it out here: http://vchblogs.ca/humour-healthcare-3/ . I’m looking forward to the year ahead as I have a number of upcoming writing projects I hope to share soon.

“Let the past die.” – Kylo Ren

Looking Ahead. 2018

What does 2018 hold for us? I will make some bold predictions and we’ll see where we are at the end of the year:
1. Celebrities of various levels will die. Drugs, old age, and disease took many of the best artists and icons in 2017. I predict this trend will continue.
2. “The War on Drugs” will be the next big rock band! My workouts and runs are currently fueled by this amazing music.
The War on Drugs – Pain
3. Atheism will continue to stagnate while people look to higher powers to explain war, disease, and the meaning of it all. Religion isn’t going anywhere.
4. Fentanyl laced street drugs will be an increasing health threat. There will be cries for action from government and health authorities with little effect. The drugs will become more and more potent like the latest threat, Carfentanyl. It is only a matter of time before we’ll be saying, “What’s next?… Truckfentanyl?”
5. There will be positives. There has to be. We’ll find ways to connect, to support, to be kind. News outlets will be pushed to see the positive side of the human experience. Positivity will still exist and you’ll find it… if you look for it. What will you focus on in 2018?
Bonus Prediction: The Vancouver Canucks will not win the Stanley Cup.

Words of Wisdom

1.Try to look at the positives for the upcoming year. Sure, you could think that 2018 is going to be filled with aging musicians dying, no Game of Thrones, stupid Trumpisms, and sitting through yet another disappointing Jurassic Park but where will that get you? Instead, focus on all the good that is coming. Deadpool 2, The Incredibles 2, and more of this amazing blog are in store for 2018. Now there’s something to be focused on and excited about!
2. Stock Tip: Buy the new chocolate bitcoin. It’s a virtual chocolate currency that only trades online and therefore does not add sugar or calories to your diet.

Ending jokes aren’t going anywhere despite the hate mail! I resolve to write more jokes in 2018. If you have your hearing, appreciate it every day. Hearing loss can’t be the topic of jokes….oh wait. Enjoy

I recently read that a North Korean defector was found to have Anthrax antibodies likely due to exposure to Anthrax.

I thought, ‘Good. I’m pretty sure I have the same thing….along with Justin Bieber and Pink antibodies.’      

Do these antibodies surround and protect the ear drums?           
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My friend has had progressive hearing loss for years. She was telling me that she was going to be getting hearing aids after she was recently tested.

She said, “I have trouble hearing ‘A’s, ‘O’s, ‘E’s, and ‘R’s.” 

I said, “Oh my god! You think my name is ‘Y’ ??”

All fans on deck. Blog Post #28 is here and likely my last…..for 2017. Like a lot of people, I’ve been pretty busy as George Michael Memorial Day (December 25th) approaches. My discipline has been waning in recent weeks and I’ve been battling to ‘Just Do It’ and get stuff done. It’s taken every ounce of my mental strength to get to the gym, go for runs, and work on various writing projects. Working at the hospital, Xmas preparation, and all the general rigors of life have all been considered for use as excuses to stop, rest, and/or be lazy. However, despite a drop in motivation, I have stuck to it and continue to work away. Discipline cares not about motivation and how much I want or don’t want to do something. It only looks at results….sweet sweet results.

Unfortunately, I don’t really have any results. I’ve submitted a couple of fun writing projects for publication, only to hear silence. I also applied to a few new publications/websites with underwhelming response. Is that Vancouver food blog still needing someone? Why did I start this freelance writing thing again?

Oh yeah….Words, words are cool. I’ve finished a couple of projects and hope to have more “Published Works” for you soon. Patience.

Check out this George Michael Memorial Day Tree. This photo is actually taken by my wife near where we live. It turned out quite well so I thought I’d share her work here.

Looking Back

At the beginning of the year, I made some bold predictions. Let’s see how I did:

1. Celebrities of various levels will die. Yeah, I think we can say I got that one right. From Carrie Fisher, Hugh Hefner, and David Cassidy to Roger Moore, Bill Paxton, and Tom Petty (to name just a few), there were a lot of well known actors, singers, and musicians who left us. I was especially sad at the death of Gord Downie. Downie died the day before my birthday in October from aggressive brain cancer. Downie was the artistic and animated front man for The Tragically Hip, a Canadian rock band that formed in 1984. Downie was making music and playing shows right up until his death this year. I will continue to enjoy his music Fully and Completely.

2. I predicted The Weeknd’s “I Feel It Coming” would be the biggest song of the year….guess I was wrong.

3. Atheism didn’t make any real headway….as I predicted.

4. Fentanyl laced street drugs continue to be a major health threat as predicted. It’s difficult to see where the solutions lie or how we can do a better job protecting public health. Especially where I live (Vancouver), it’s a crisis that doesn’t seem to have an end in sight.

5. As predicted, there were positives. We just have to focus on them. No nuclear war (tree punch), a new Star Wars movie released (fist bump), and this blog continues to hum along (self back pat).

Words of Wisdom

1. Be careful as ‘tis the season for work Xmas parties. Don’t fall down stairs, make inappropriate jokes or be overly intoxicated in public. I recently heard the story of an open bar put on by management to get staff to speak more freely about work and how they perceived their performances. One boss was openly spiking the punch with various liqueurs and spirits. Eventually, an employee was heard to say, “What kind of boss mixes five different types of alcohol at a work party?”

“Ummm….an awesome one!!”

2. Take your job seriously and always do the best that you can. I recently responded to a Craigslist Ad looking for a “Music Video Pitch Writer.” I responded with “concert footage of the band playing the song”…that’s free and just for you (self back pat).

It’s the ending jokes. Flu and cold season is here….nothing funny about that Roy!

It could be worse.

You could be a nurse.

Enjoy

At the end of her day shift, Mary, the Charge Nurse, wasn’t feeling well. She was scheduled to work again the next morning. She decided to call in sick right away even before her shift had ended as it was the best thing for her and her patients. Mary faxed her info to the staffing office and called into the Sick Call/Absentee Line to inform her employer that she was calling in sick for the following day. A few minutes later, the staffing office called the nursing station asking to speak to the Charge Nurse. They informed Mary (the Charge Nurse) that Mary called in sick for the following day and would need to be replaced. For fun, Mary told staffing to call Mary back and tell her that she had to come in because the Charge Nurse said so. Names and facts were changed for this story.
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There was a Norwalk outbreak at work. I cleaned up a lot of vomit and liquid stool. I changed a lot of diapers because I wanted to do my doody. We were often working short because of staff getting Norwalk. One co-worker called in and said she was sick when we were already short. I said, “C’mon! Just nor walk it off.” Norwalk proves that life is like a box of chocolates, you’re eventually going to get sick with diarrhea.