No need to wait. It’s Blog Post #58…It’s time for a new blog, Zog, add ideas from a text, Rex, don’t need to be coy, Roy. Just listen to me…

Celebration Time

This past Friday was the book launch party for Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. Thank you to everyone who came out to celebrate the completion of my first ever book. I was taken aback that so many people decided to come out and celebrate with me. My speech was as short and sweet as it needed to be. I didn’t see it as all that pragmatic to have me standing there all sloppy emotional. The celebration was still a lot of fun.

Also, a big thank you to everyone who said they enjoyed Blog Post #57 and found it quite funny. The comments about it being me “playing with myself” and that “it was funnier than your book” were not appreciated (but amusing).

People who haven’t read the book yet have asked me what my favorite story and/or favorite part of the book is. My answer is that it’s all amazing. If they continue to grill me, I say, “Well, there is a digital disimpaction one that’s quite good.”

“Eww, that’s a hard NO from me.”

“It was hard…hence the need.”

As I said to many people at the party, the book is not really what you’d necessarily expect. It’s a journey that’s told through my inner dialogue and comments (which are rooted in humor and sarcasm). There is a message and a story within all that humorous gold.

I took this photo of the beautiful flowers I was given by Viki, my wife’s aunt, to congratulate me on the book.

Q&A from the Book Launch Party

I was asked a lot of questions about the book and writing at the book launch party. I thought I’d answer a few of them here:

1. How did I decide to write this book?

It was the write time.

2. Were there problems with formatting and getting everything together?

Yes. I was halfway done the book and saw that Times New Roman was trending on Twitter. I thought, “What’s happening on that font? Sans Sarif they discontinue Times New Roman, I might have to re Calibri.”

3. Were there a lot of jokes that didn’t make the book?

There were some that weren’t good enough or that were too much for the book.

4. What’s one that was too much for the book?

I had one about pigs…P.I.G.S. ; Patients In General Surgery. Decided against it.

5. Is the book successful? Do I have lots of sales?

To me the book is a success. I’m proud of it. People who have read it have said they really enjoyed it. Sales have exceeded my expectations and they’ve continued long after the book was released. That’s success… in my book.

6. Am I going to write another book?

I’ve already started. I’ve decided to write a fiction novel. Nursing is a part of it but it’s not really about that. I’m going to try to tell a story that I want to tell.

Words of Wisdom

1. For Writers: Get an editor to look over your work. It saved me from myself. I recently read a novel where the story took place in 1977. The author wrote about the fall of the Berlin Wall and Whitney Houston songs amongst all the spelling errors, typos, and grammar issues. That book desperately needed an editor.

2. For wanna-be writers: The journey from wanna-be to writer requires action… actual writing. It’s simple but not easy. For those not knowing where to start… you just have to start. Then the magic of “anything can happen” can take place.

Everybody’s favorite ending jokes are here. These ones struck me as funny when I came up with them but now, I think they’re stupid. In other words, perfect for this blog. Enjoy.

Did you hear that it’s supposed to snow tomorrow?

No.

Did you hear that Kelloggs is down in early morning trading?

No.

Did you know that gold panning is making a big comeback?

No.

That’s because it’s all flake news.

_________________________________________________________________________________

BREAKING NEWS: WHO’s to say if the Corona Virus is a global emergency or not ?

As mentioned in my last post, I secured an interview with the author of Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. Here, in Blog Post #57, I share the interview answers and all the amazing insights of book author, Roy G. Mundheim. I hope you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

Me: “Thank you for doing this despite your crazy busy schedule. I appreciate you finding time for me.”

Roy: “No problem. When I heard you wanted to interview me, I knew it was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. You’re the best blogger/ writer I know.”

Me: “Thank you. What got you started writing? I mean you don’t have any formal training or degrees or anything. What made you want to do this?”

Roy: “I always enjoyed writing, a lot more than reading actually. I always found it to be a great creative outlet. I had taken a couple university writing courses but never thought of it as an actual career option. I don’t think I would enjoy it or be as good at it if it was a fulltime career… and journalism would never be my thing. I really got started by seeing ads on social media and YouTube saying anyone could be a writer. I thought, ‘Hey, I’m anyone. I can do that.’ The rest is history all while history is being made. I’m also crazy funny and thought I should share that with the world.”

Me: “That you are! Was it difficult to get started?”

Roy: “Not really. There’s so much information on the interweb thing regarding building a webplace that I just started there. A person can learn to build a car, fix a house, speak a language, or write a book just watching YouScreen. It’s an awesome time to be alive. The difficulty was (and is) not getting distracted by crazy cat videos, Words with Foes, or Facebook meemees. If you can ignore that stuff, any task, skill, or knowledge can be yours.”

Me: “Where did the idea to write a book come from?”

Roy: “I had already written so many hilarious jokes in my blog and in articles that the volume of material was almost overwhelming. It seemed almost natural to turn them into a book. The idea really came to me watching a Peruvian movie called Soltera Codiciada. The main character had started a blog that became popular. She then decided to turn it into a book. I decided to do the same. By the way, I’m a huge fan of the photography in your blog. It is just so raw and real.”

Me: “Thank you. I’d like to ask you about your photography. It’s so inspirational.”

Roy: “I’m fortunate to have the opportunity to travel around the world. The many beautiful backdrops I have access to combined with amazing technology makes it difficult not to get great shots. I mean, look at this one from Shanghai I took in 2016. That wasn’t even a sunny day yet the colors just pop.”

Me: “What do you want people to get out of Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside?”

Roy: “I’d like people to get two things:

1. I’d like it to get people thinking about healthcare and its future. We can do better and set up a better system once we acknowledge that the current system is …well….’funny’.

2. Entertainment. I hope people enjoy it and find the ‘funny’, just like the blog.”

Me: “The book is such a great mix of funny and serious. I really enjoyed it. Tell me about ‘Words of Wisdom’ from your blog. Maybe you could share some with my readers.”

Roy: “Sure. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. People are going to be critical and some won’t like it but do it anyway. Got an idea? Get started… even if at first you’re like a dog with a boat.”

Me: “Haha. That’s so good. That’s why I love you and your work. Amazing. How do you come up with these jokes? It’s just so genius. Can you come up with one now for my readers or share a new one that we haven’t read?

Roy: “Sure.”

Me: “This, I’m going to Enjoy.”

Roy: “Pick a topic and I’ll make a joke. It can be nursing, languages, science, math, housing, cars, construction, sports, or anything. You pick.”

Me: “Ok. Cars. Try that.”

Roy: “Ok… Since I’m a writer and we’re both in Vancouver, you should call this blog post, ‘Interview with the Van-writer’.”

Me: “What the truck? How did you do that?”

Roy: “Now you may have taken this joke a little too car.”

*Insert High-Five here.

__________________________________________________________________

Me: “Not bad. Now do a math one.”

Roy: “I’ve sold so many books, I have had difficulty figuring out the profits vs. the expenditures. My wife said I should get help from her friend Dan, who is an accountant.

I said, ‘I don’t know him from Adding.’

“I could also combine those jokes by mentioning ‘Le stat’ but that’s maybe a bit too far advanced for the average general reader.”

Me: “OMO! Le Stat! That is so crazy good. Other level!! Hahaha. You are awesome. You’re my favorite writer of all time and so funny. Thank you so much for doing this.”

Roy: ” No problem. You run my favorite blog and there was no way I was going to miss out on this opportunity to be interviewed. All the best. Love ya.”

*Insert Hug here.

Happy New Year! It’s Blog Post #56 and the first of 2020. Thank you to everyone who purchased Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it… but you won’t.

I received a great message from someone who said “it wasn’t the ‘joke book’ I was expecting… in a good way. It actually had some seriousness to it which was really great.” That was nice to hear as I never intended for it to be a joke book despite the name… and all the jokes. Funny.

New Year’s Resolution Failure

In January of 2018, I set a goal of learning to speak Spanish fluently in two years. So where am I now? Well, I don’t speak Spanish fluently. That’s for sure. I failed in my quest and did not reach my goal. So, now what?

It’s not a time to give up. It’s time to get back to work. The truth is my Spanish has come a long way. It’s just time for some new strategies. I have joined a Meet Up group to exchange English for Spanish and will do that once a week. I will continue listening to Spanish Podcasts every day. I will watch Spanish shows/ movies on Netflix when I get the chance. The point is that I can’t give up… just because I suck.

Words of Wisdom

1. Just because you haven’t reached a goal or been able to accomplish something you hoped, doesn’t mean you can’t try a new strategy or increase your efforts and get it done anyway.

2. Watch the new Star Wars movie… once. It wasn’t very good. When I heard they were going to make three new Star Wars movies, I thought they might be good and make up for the three horrible prequels that were inexplicably made. There was A New Hope. I was wrong.  Thank ‘The Force’ they aren’t making any more.

2. Eating healthier is good for you and a very popular new year’s resolution. Someone recently said to me, “I hope you’ll have the heart to leave animals off your plate this year.”

”No, but I’ll get them off my plate as soon as I can.”

3. “Hazlo o no lo hagas. No lo intentes.”

It’s time for the ending jokes. Remember, these aren’t really real. It’s a ridiculous imagination meeting a lot of creative weird. Enjoy.

My wife and I bought a brand new 80” OLED 3D 8K VR TV. The first time we watched hockey on it, they announced that a viewer had won a 50” HD TV. My wife and I both looked at each other. Why don’t they make the prize a cassette walkman, or a dishwasher-sized outhouse, or Maple Leaf tickets, or a green dress (but not a real green dress), or a videotape of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker? What’s the person supposed to do with this mini TV?

___________________________________________________________________________

This requires a little knowledge of the Spanish language or click on the movie name.

I was searching for a Spanish movie to watch when I came across one called “Bread”. I started watching, but it was in English and all about Captain Hook.

___________________________________________________________________________

Announcement: I’m excited to say that I have secured an interview with the author of Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. Look for the full interview in an upcoming Blog Post. 

George Michael Memorial Day is almost here and it’s my last blog post of 2019. It’s number 55. Thanks to everyone who supported the launch of my first ever book, Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. Sales are through the roof . That’s if roof is a Yiddish word for twelve. I’m kidding… I made my wife buy more than twelve. The truth is I’ve sold tens of copies. Amazon Kindle even called to say that print demand for my book may cause them to run out of paper. No worries though… there are still areas of the Amazon where they need to get rid of more trees. I’m joking… There are no trees left in the Amazon.

Book Marketing

Even though I know nothing about marketing, I did have a strategy… that went out the window. I had plans and ideas that just never came to fruition for multiple reasons. Now, I’m done. Marketing was never the goal or the passion so it’s time to move on. I did have these cool business cards made and will pass them out when opportunity presents.

I’m also very excited to be planning a book launch party in the new year. If you live in the Vancouver area or will be here on February 7, 2020, come out and celebrate a crazy weird book, get it signed, and enjoy a beer like Florence Nighteng-Ale (inside reference from the book). More info to come or email me.

The Reviews are In

What people are saying…

“Nursing: The Funny Side is easily my favorite Roy Mundheim book” – Lesly.

I’ve received a couple e-mails from people saying they liked (not loved) the book. I received one e-mail where the person said they hated it. One other person said, “I never really got the point of it.”  There is no point. If there was, it would have been called, Nursing: The Point of It. I also had a couple readers say they laughed out loud. I’d call that mixed reviews.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t make jokes about climate change (See Amazon-Gate above). The earth is set to warm by 3.2* C by the year 2100 if emissions aren’t cut by a third. Well, I’ll be 125 years old then and probably wouldn’t mind the extra bit of warmth.

2. Buy the book that everyone is talking about. Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside 

It’s time for some ending jokes, the last of them for 2019. Thank Odin. Enjoy.

My wife said to me, “Damn. I hate when you’re right.”

“Oh wow. That’s a lot of hatred to be carrying around.”

_______________________________________________________________________________

I told my wife that I need a bigger and better stocking for this holiday season.

She said she didn’t know where to get it.

I said, “To really find a stocking worthy of me and what I deserve, go on Amazon and look under Camping Gear.” 

“What? Why?” 

“Because that’s where the sleeping bags are.”

_______________________________________________________________________________

Get your new years resolutions ready. It’s almost time. What’s your 2020 vision? 

It’s an emergency Blog Post #54. It seems that my book has been leaked to the public early. I was planning to have it published for February 1st but someone close to my inner circle has betrayed me. The investigation known as “Nursing-Leaks” has begun.

It’s a Medical Condition

So in trying to figure out how to self publish my book, I ended up publishing my book sooner than I was planning. I suffered from premature publication. It is a bit embarrassing and I didn’t want anyone to know… then “Nursing-leaks” happened. What’s a Roy to do?

Words of Wisdom

1. If you want something kept on the DL, don’t tell anyone. Stay quiet and keep the Roys level to a minimum. Trust no one… not even your wife who you thought loved you.
2. You should buy my book. It supports this crazy blog and website. You can get either the hard copy traditional book with tree entrails or the digital copy good for tablets, laptops, desktop computers, and kindle devices etc.

Buy Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside

If you’re in the Vancouver area and looking to have your book signed, there are plans for a book release party in the new year. Thanks to everyone who supported me in this endeavor. It was a lot of fun.

Here’s a couple ending jokes. These didn’t make the cut for my book, Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside. I’m not entirely sure why but they didn’t seem to work. Enjoy.
The doctor had ordered for my colleague’s patient to stop drinking Boost due to diarrhea. Later in the shift, my colleague asked me to help her with a boost to get the patient further up the bed.
I said no. The doctor said no more boost.
________________________________________________________________________________

I was on a brewery crawl (shocking, I know). At one brewery, they offered that I could try samples of every beer one by one. They had amazing beer with great names.
They had the “Take Your Sleeping Pilsner”, the “Porter-a-Cath”, the “Pull the Chest Tube Stout”, and “Big Hug IPA”.
When we got to the IPA, the bartender said, “Ok. It’s Hug Time!”
Oh thanks. But I’ll just have the beer.
______________________________________________________________________

If those jokes didn’t make it, what’s left must be pure gold.
My Editor: “Roy, you spelled crap wrong.”

Grab a double double (hold the milk and sugar) and put a few blogs on the fire because as you can see, it’s Post #53. It’s been a busy last few weeks as I try to learn a new job, travel plan for 2020, and battle a ‘man cold’ …all while also trying to figure out how to self publish a book (more on that to come).

Two Day Getaway

My wife and I enjoyed a little jaunt down to Dallas, Texas last month. We cheered on our local hockey team (The Vancouver Canucks), found some great Texas craft beers, and indulged in an amazing steak dinner. The saying is “Don’t Mess with Texas.” My wife, myself, and the Canucks did not heed that advice. We clearly should have. The Canucks got destroyed 6-1 making for a lot of sadness. Delicious steak and my emotional support demon brought back the happiness though.

As the game was happening, I had to think about happier places and happier times… like Kyoto, Japan. I took this photo at Fushimi-Inari.

It was a beautiful (and happier) day.

Bookwork

Being sick all of a November weekend, had me on the couch and working at publishing my book. I decided to revamp a large portion of it. While editing, I found it to be a little too snarky, complainy (yes, that’s now a word-ish), and negative. So, I went to work on making it more positive and constructive. Unfortunately, I do think it lost a little humor in the process but that’s also ok. It’s still the greatest book I’ve ever written. The book is set to be released on February 1st just in time for Valentine’s Day. How so very fitting as the book was written with love.

Words of Wisdom

1. Get St*ff Done.  I was recently asked how I get so much done and how I find the time. It obviously starts with working my job part time. After that, I’m not entirely sure. Resist procrastination. Don’t wait to be “motivated” and just do. Have discipline. It’s not any one thing I can point to.

2. Start the Day Right. I try to follow a routine when I wake up that leans towards getting things done (Spanish Podcasts, Reading, Writing, Working Out etc.) and stay away from the news, social media, email and other such things that create a reactionary response.

3. Good Mornings. There are a number of inspirational-motivational people who speak to getting up at 4:00am but I decided that wasn’t for me. They even say that “Losers hit the snooze button.” That’s why I just don’t set the alarm.

4. As we prepare for George Michael Memorial Day, think about your new year’s resolutions. I think you should buy more books and read more. Reading books is a great way to improve yourself. Buying books is a great way to support writers. Buy a book (like Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside) and read a book (like Nursing: The Funny Side of the Bedside). You and I will be better for it.

P.S. My emotional support demon is not referring to my wife.

This is more of an ending story than an ending joke. Enjoy.

The Language of Love

I was walking around downtown Vancouver when two women asked me for directions. They spoke very good English with thick accents. I asked where they were from.

The first woman replied, “I’m from Spain.”

I said, “Oh. Me gusta mucho hablar Espanol.”(I like to speak Spanish – In Spanish) 

The second woman then said, “I’m from Norway.”

I smiled and said, “Jeg liker godt å snakker norsk.” (I like to speak Norwegian – In Norwegian).

They both smiled.

The point of the story is language is amazing and fun.

The moral of the story is that now, in addition to my wife, I also have two girlfriends.

P.S. Lesly seemed fine with it and then this happened….

Konnichiwa-t time is it? It’s time for Blog Post #52. My wife and I just returned from a near two-week excursion to Japan so prepare yourself for a whole lot of Japanese themed content. We thoroughly enjoyed the food in Seoul, checking out the markets in Bangkok, and touring around Hanoi. Japan 2019 is a trip I won’t soon forget.

Japan Impressions

Being that we were in Japan for less than two weeks, I’m certainly no expert on the country. I saw a very small sample size and have a few first impressions to share. Emperor Naruhito was adamant that I show his country in a positive light and focus on its many wonderful qualities and that is what I intend to do. He also asked me not to make any jokes or sarcastic remarks when blogging about Japan. I told him that I would not be able to honor that request. He said that was ok…at least that’s what I think he said. My Japanese needs some work.

I took this photo at the Imperial Palace in Kyoto.

Thai Food and Haggis

Before departing for Japan, I had seen a lot of stories on the news about Thai Food and Haggis coming to Japan. I even thought about cancelling the trip. Then I learned that it was not Thai Food or Haggis but actually a typhoon called Hagibis. Oh, ok, then we’ll still go.

Surviving

Typhoon Hagibis was one the largest typhoons to hit Japan since 1958. Fortunately, we were staying in an area of higher ground. While we heard the wind howling through, we also experienced a small short earthquake. I thought it might be the houses foundation giving way as we get picked up and whisked away. I was ready though…

“Yoko, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansai anymore.”

On the day we left Japan, news reports had two more typhoons heading towards Japan. Just as you leave when the house says to ‘get out’, you leave the country when it says ‘get out.’

Quote of the Month:

“You should seek approval from yourself.” – Ichiro.

Words of Wisdom

1. If you go to Japan, be warned that it’s very expensive. Craft beer and coffee are quite pricey although that may have just been a price hike after the Japanese heard I was coming to visit. It made me wonder, “Yen did Japan get so expensive?”

2. Know that taxis, bullet trains, transit trains, and buses are all quite reasonably priced in Japan. Many people in Tokyo don’t even have or need a car. The one great thing, if you were to have a car, is that it’s easy and free to keep sparkling clean… as long as you can find parking near the local karate studio.

3. If you go to Japan, it can be very helpful to learn a few Japanese words and phrases. My friend Corey who showed us around Tokyo (and speaks 5 languages) told us, “A hello in the local language and a smile goes a long way.” I found that ‘arrigato’ and ‘sayanara’ got us pretty fara.

It’s time for the ending jokes. These may or may not have happened as described. Enjoy.

Karaoke is big in Japan. Walking by Karaoke Bars in Tokyo, I thought I recognized some songs but as I listened closer, it wasn’t quite the same. There was one where I thought it was The Beach Boys but upon further review; “Akita, Nagoya. Ooh I wanna take ya. To Yokohama, Tsushima. Come on pretty mama. Far from Komaki, there’s a place called Kyoto. That’s where you want to go to get away from it all…” There was another bar where I heard Mike Posner but it was also different; “I took a pill in Ebisu to show Akihito I was cool. But when I finally got sober, felt ten years older…” There was also one I went by where they were singing, Mr. Roboto. Not really a joke but funny.

______________________________________________________________________________________

My wife and I had an elementary school teacher and her students approach us and ask if we had time for them to speak with us and practice English. We agreed and answered their questions. They spoke quite well. One question they asked was, “What other languages do you speak?” I said, “We speak Norwegian and I speak some Spanish… oh and I speak Japanese!” They looked at me puzzled for a moment as I added the essential travel – Japanese I knew, “Konnichiwa (Hello/greeting), nama biru (draft beer), Konpai! (Cheers!), and Arrigato (Thank you). The teacher scowled, quickly gathering the students and corralling them away.  “Sayanara! (So long/good bye).” Languages are fun. 

____________________________________________________________________________________

I didn’t know that Japan was hosting the 2019 Rugby World Cup at the time we wanted to be in Japan. We met a lot of British, Irish, Australians, South Africans, and New Zealanders on our trip. I asked them, “What brought you to Japan?”

They mostly responded, “For the Rugby World Cup.”

My Response, “There’s a Rugby World Cup?”

I did not make many friends on this trip. ““Sumimasen. (Sorry)”

P.S. I like Thai Food.

It’s an impromptu Blog Post #51. I was planning to wait until after returning from Japan (now to be Blog #52) to post on all the sushis, blowfishes, and nama birus my wife and I will have. However, things change. Life happens… and so does death.

I find myself travelling on a ferry to a celebration of life for my good friend, Sylvia. Some of you might have read my first ever published article all about Sylvia’s fight with cancer. If you haven’t, you can read it here …and be inspired.

Friendship

Sylvia and I met in nursing school and became fast friends. She enjoyed (and amazingly also understood) my humor and I loved her passion for nursing and life. I am grateful to have been her friend.

The Book

The editing process continues and is moving forward. Sylvia finished reading the final rough draft and had told me to not change a thing. She wrote an amazing Foreword for the book and I look forward (haha) to sharing it with everyone when the book comes out.

“Just be true with yourself and you’ll succeed.” – Sylvia Moreau.

The New Challenge

I continue full time training for my new position in Community Health. I had asked Sylvia if she thought I should take this job. She said, “Yes, it’s a new challenge and it’s good to challenge yourself.”

Well, I’m challenged! You could even say I’m struggling. However, somewhere in there I’m getting better, I’m growing (frustrated?), and feeling grateful for the opportunity I have. They say that learning comes from making mistakes. If that’s so, I can proudly say that I’ve been making a lot of learnings.

Words of Wisdom

1. Enjoy Life! Enjoy every challenge, every opportunity, and every lesson along the way.

2. “Make Lasting Memories.” – how Sylvia would end all her emails.

I decided to share this joke from the book (which will be edited before publishing). It’s not fully mine. It was Sylvia’s and she had a great sense of humor. Enjoy.

“From midway through nursing school, Sylvia has been battling a rare type of cancer called carcinoid neuroendocrine cancer. Despite the challenges this condition presented, Sylvia finished nursing school and worked as a nurse before the condition forced her to retire. One day, she wrote to tell me about how she was doing:

“My bloodwork isn’t good. I’ve had some bad bowel obstructions. I can’t eat much between the episodes of vomiting and pain. Scans show tumorous masses in my intestinal tract, on my liver, and on my pancreas…but at least my prostate is ok!”

Of course, I laughed. It was all I could do to not cry. My wife asked how Sylvia was doing. I replied, “She has masses but says, ‘at least her prostate is ok.”

My wife said, “Well that’s good at least.”

“Umm, women don’t have prostates.”

“They don’t?” And I got to laugh all over again.

Then I told Sylvia about my wife’s response and we laughed and laughed some more.” 

This post is dedicated to my friend, Sylvia Moreau (obviously). She was a special person who fought a rare terminal cancer for over ten years. She was an amazing nurse, a champion for enjoying life, and one of the toughest and most caring people I have ever met. Sylvia will be missed dearly by me and my wife, Lesly as we strive to continue to “Make Lasting Memories”.

Hard to believe that I’m at Blog Post #50 already. It’s seems like just yesterday I did Blog Post #1 and it went viral. Thank you to everyone who has read this ridiculously entertaining goodness and supported this endeavour in some way over the years. It really has been fun.

It’s been a crazy month. I started full time training Mondays to Fridays to prepare for my new nursing job in Community Care. I completed my book this month as well. The irony is not lost on me that as soon as I finish a book on bedside nursing, I leave bedside nursing. Now I wait as I have two different people go over my book with a fine-toothed gnome, looking for any erorrs I may have made. I also need to ensure that all content in “Nursing: The Funny Side of the B.S.” is professionally acceptable.

Since my time is limited this month, I thought I’d share my highlights and favorite moments over the past 49 blogs. It buys me time to write more material and gives you a chance to reminisce about your favorite jokes, stories, and moments.

What Is Roy Blogging On About?

I didn’t really know where this blog was going to go when I started. I just knew I wanted to write. In the beginning, looking back, I was still trying to define the blog. Here’s a few quotes from those early days:

From Blog Post #8 : “my writing blog….a place to write my thoughts on pretty much anything; to practice an art form. There are no rules for spelling, punctuation, or grammar. It’s art.

Yeah, Roy, I know. Spelling, punctuation, grammar, terrible. I’ve been reading it from the beginning.”

From Blog Post #11 : “Each time I go to write a blob post, I always doubt if it will work and whether it will be fun and/or funny. Then it’s like I switch a flip in my brian and it turns out better than I could have hoped for (full of cheesy ridiculous stupidness).”

Every once in a while, I came up with good quotes which helped define my blog a little more:

From Blog Post #14 : “People exchange their time (something that doesn’t exist but is invaluable) for money (which is only valuable due to the meaning and worth people have given to it) and in the process lose their soul (which none of us have).”

From Blog Post #37 : “Fulfillment doesn’t come from comfort or entertainment, it comes from purpose and achievement.”

Looking back, I guess it wasn’t just all jokes, all humor, all laughs, all the time after all.

Photography

I’ve enjoyed sharing some of my photos. This was the one that got the most responses.

From Blog Post #38 : “If you missed the British Royal Wedding on TV or haven’t seen any pictures, this is my photo showing everything important that you may have missed.”

Words of Wisdom

What started out as “Health Tips” soon became “Words of Wisdom.” Here are a few of my favorites that people seemed to enjoy.

1. From Blog Post #13 : “Never work an overtime day shift after a night shift (working more than 12 hours in a row). You’ll become more forgetful than Dory on Jeopardy with Alan Trebek.”

2. From Blog Post #19 : “Have some patience when driving. The light has barely turned green and people are honking. It seems that people are honking at you before you even have a chance to finish your text.”

3. From Blog Post #34 : “Don’t procrastinate on things you want to do. Time is running out for all of us….maybe not Queen Elizabeth, Keith Richards, or Betty White….but for the rest of us; Don’t wait!”

4. From Blog Post #43 : “Have cheat days. February is the month when most people go off their ambitious new year diets. The discipline only lasts so long for most people. That’s why I love cheat meals and cheat days. They’re great for a mental break and the extra calories can boost your metabolism. Does Tom Brady have cheat days? Yes, every day…but he always feels deflated afterwards.”

5. From Blog Post #22 : “Don’t eat food that doesn’t belong to you without asking first! I recently heard a story of a restaurant cook who saw a cake in the fridge. The cook didn’t know that the cake had been dropped off by a family that had reservations to celebrate a 50th birthday that night in the restaurant. The cake was worth over $600 U.S.D. The cook ate it. So at the end of dinner, the family asked for the cake to be brought out…..no cake. The manager had the pleasure of explaining that the cook had eaten the cake (they should have said it was dropped). I hope the dinner the cook made was good. What would you say if that was your cake?

• The cook ate the cake.
• Too many cooks spoiled the cake.
• It was a piece of cake.
• It was a piece of cook.
• Cooking is a piece of cake.
• You can have your cake and eat it too.
• You can have their cake and eat it too.
• That was icing on the cake.
• That was icing on the cook.
• You can’t have your cake and cook it too.
• You can’t have your cook and cake too.
• Way to go Cookcake.

The Best of…

The most popular blog posts were:

#37. (Translating the Cold Hard WOD)

#31. (Leaving ‘Paradise’: Ode to My Dad)

#1. (First Blog Post)

My favorite moments:

From Blog Post #39 : “The Titanic was built in Belfast and the people are very proud of that fact. Belfast has the largest Titanic museum in the world. We all know it was ‘Ice’s’ fault that the Titanic sank.”

From Blog Post #41 : “I want to wish all my readers peace and Roy over the holidays. May you all have tidings of comfort and Roy. If you see Santa, remind him to stop at The Island of Misfit Roys.”

So many great moments but really it’s been all about the ending jokes. Here are a few of my favorites although they’re all great. Enjoy.

My wife’s friend was telling us about how she had recently taken up fishing and she was very excited, “I caught my first fish the other day!”

Didn’t that upset the people at the pet store?”

_______________________________________________________________________

My friend has had progressive hearing loss for years. She was telling me that she was going to be getting hearing aids after she was recently tested. She said, “I have trouble hearing ‘A’s, ‘O’s, ‘E’s, and ‘R’s.”

I said, “Oh my god! You think my name is ‘Y’ ??”

___________________________________________________________________

My wife recently asked me, “What should we do first when we get to San Francisco?”

I said, “First thing I have to do is send a message on Twitter that says, “Rice-a-roni”.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s a San Francisco tweet.”

_______________________________________________________________________

I have to say this about my wife: Although she’s selfish, self centered, and usually only thinking of herself, she’s still the love of my wife.

________________________________________________________________________

I was asked what the highlight was from our trip to Britain. I said, “That’s easy. It was getting the chance to hang out with The Queen in London.”

“Wow, you met The Queen?”

“Met The Queen? I’ve been married to her for 11 years.”

_________________________________________________________________________

This was one of my favorites. It was right after the movie “Birdbox” came out:

Britain’s separation from the European Union has been predicted to be an apocalyptic event and as such has recently been renamed, “Birdbrexit.”

A lot of British people think the whole thing is a bunch of Sandra Bullocks.

_________________________________________________________________________

Thank you again to everyone who has read and supported this blog 50 times (or even a few times). Here’s hoping for 50 more. Cheers!