It’s a beautiful Blogtober. Thank you to everyone who sent messages about blog post 116. If you truly got it, it was a life changing, paradigm shifting, reality altering orgasmic word rearrangement that pierced the deepest parts of your brain and will be forever etched in your thought patterns. If not, it’s still the best thing you’ve read this year.

Enough about the past… as amazing as it was. It’s now time for Blog Post 117.

Kilometerstone Birthday

So many amazing people have turned 50 this year. Leonardo DiCaprio, Alanis Morrissette, Roy G. Mundheim, Christian Bale, and Sporty Spice… to name just a few. I am grateful to have spent last weekend celebrating 50 years on this planet in Port Alberni, B.C. Canada where I was born. It was still fun anyway. Many friends and family came out for the party that my wife arranged.  

Yes, I gave the town of Port Alberni a few fun shots during my speech, but it was all meant in good fun.

“I was asked why I would have my 50^th birthday in Port Alberni. I thought, ‘Well, there is so little joy and so little to celebrate here that it would be great to bring this momentous occasion to this lousy town.’”

I then thanked everyone for coming to support my quest to become the world’s oldest human. “Unfortunately, I won’t see most of you at my 150^th birthday so let’s make sure we enjoy tonight.”

Autumn Colors Have Arrived

Headlines Continued

Bear With Me

Bears have been in the news… and it’s bad news. “Tourist Charged By Bear at Jasper National Park”. I don’t think anyone should be charged to visit a national park, let alone be charged by a bear. Although if someone causes a fire, they should be charged by Smokey the Bear.

“Bear Attacks Man in His Own Garage.” That man should know better than to trespass in a bear’s garage. I think we can all agree that bears should have the right to defend their own garages.

Life Update

My health continues to improve. I have energy, vitality, and strength again. I’m back in the gym, practicing yoga, and going for regular interval walk/ runs. It feels surreal after having so many health issues over the past 5 years. Thank you to everyone who has sent words of encouragement and support.

Words of Wisdom

1. Let go of anxiety.

Anxiety is the illness of the 21^st century. The internet, smartphones, and challenging ever-changing jobs have caused us to have more anxiety than ever before. Life is supposed to be easier than at any time in human history.

A woman in Florida decided to stay in her home for Hurricane Milton despite government orders to evacuate the area. She survived the storm and then described her anxiety as “through the roof”. Is the roof still there or is it in the neighbour’s yard?

2. Follow Instructions.

My friend had two male snails. She was shocked to see that they started having baby snails. ‘Nature finds away.’ I had to ask, “Did you get them wet? Did you feed them after midnight?”

3. Vote!

There are local elections here in western Canada as well as upcoming elections in the United States. I was asked who I thought was going to win the election. I replied, “I don’t know who will win but I know who is going to lose…. all of us.”

Thank you for reading this month’s blog post. Your support keeps me coming back to write more amazing content. It’s now time for the ending joke. Enjoy.

After completing my speech at my birthday party, I sat down to have dinner and chat with friends. A friend asked me if I had been doing much writing lately.

I responded, “Yeah, there’s the blog and I’ve been working on the screenplay for Jonah Chooses Amazing. I also wrote an amazing speech for my birthday party. It’s hilarious.”