August is nearing an end so it’s time for Blog Post # 79. In other exciting news, masks are back. There’s a fourth wave of virus in North America and it’s back to lockdowns and conspiracy theories. Good times.

Short Story Hunting

Speaking of conspiracies, the winner of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation Short Story contest was announced as Corinna Chong of Kelowna B.C. You can read the winning story here. Congratulations to Corinna but this was a contest I entered and clearly should have won. Thank you to everyone who emailed the CBC to complain and throw your support in my corner. I have hired a legal team to dispute the judgement and will be pursuing justice in this case. Stay tuned for information on the planned rally, the concert-fundraiser, and an impromptu courthouse protest. This story will not be short and it will not go away!

Good news is I am working on a new short story for the 2022 CBC Short Story Contest. I may even enter two stories… so I can also collect the second place prize. These short stories will be part of my third book to be released after my upcoming novel.

Novel Delays

I had hopes of releasing my novel this year but after much thought, deliberation, and math, it will be postponed until 2022. I have been making some great progress on the second draft as of late and I look forward to sharing it with everyone next year. In the meantime, here’s a little excerpt:

“He noted the stains on his white t-shirt, pizza sauce… and what was maybe week’s old gravy. Amazing, he thought, I’m really extraordinary over here, rockin’ this life.”

Seriously

I’ve been on a break from alcohol. No beer. No wine. Only water and tears for the past two weeks… damn it, no jokes allowed in the Seriously part. My plan is to go to two months. It’s not any profound life change or some grand plan to stop forever. It’s just a break to pursue some health and fitness goals. The last weeks of summer can still be great even without beer.

“That was a joke, right? He was joking wasn’t he?”

Words of Wisdom

1. Do your part and participate in the name of science. I recently completed a survey asking what I thought about Covid-19. My answer: It sucks.

2. Take your vitamins. Recently a thief stole hundreds of dollars in supplements and vitamins thinking they were prescription drugs. The thief did not get high but did find increased energy and vitality for future stealing.

3. Don’t take this too seriously or you’ll miss the fun.

Thanks for reading and supporting this tremendously informative and inspirational blog. It is a pleasure to write and share. Now, it’s time for the ending jokes. Enjoy.

What kind of bird is that?

It’s a Blue Heron.

Really? It doesn’t look that sad.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A: Betty White.

Q: Who should be the next fulltime host of Jeopardy?

*Because they need someone young, hip, and energetic… with a bit of longevity.

Who would you like to be the next host of Jeopardy?

Steve Harvey would be great, but he’d get all the answers wrong. David Attenborough could do a good job, but his soothing voice makes people sleepy.

There’s always Snoop Dog.

“I’ll take Economics for 200, Dog.”

“Here’s the answer, Yo. The whizzle to the shizels left the fasizzle to the low dizzle, G.”

“What is the price to earnings ratio?”

“Fo’ shizzle. What’s nizzle?”