February already! At least time is flying… even if none of us are. It’s Blog Post #73 to brighten your month. Thanks to those who provided feedback on last month’s post. It was a little edgier than usual so I thought I would go a little tamer this month… or not. It’s at this point that I will place a disclaimer: Opinions are my own and a sense of humor is required. I represent myself and this is satirical, sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek nonsense.

The Latest News

Finance

Two coyotes that had been attacking runners were captured in Stanley Park last month. In unrelated news, shares of ACME have plummeted.

If you look at this photo closely, you can see it’s a bear market.

Social media

“Bullying isn’t ok at any time. Can I get 3 people to share?”

Stop trying to bully me into sharing your post!

“Age yourself by naming a store.” Hudson’s Bay Fur Trading Company.

Science

A cat was lost inside the Toronto Airport last month. Scientists announced that the mouse population at the Toronto Airport has seen a sharp decline this month.

Covid – 19

Stay Calm. The Covid Vaccine Update is here. The government has recently put out this statement regarding the Covid-19 vaccine:

The time for vaccination is now. We will be having meetings all this week to organize the shipping and receiving of the vaccine to where it is needed most. We will be working on contingency plans for any difficulties in manufacturing or in the supply chain. Next week, we will be discussing clinic location and how to effectively and efficiently roll out the vaccine. This will be followed by determining the hierarchy for vaccinations likely targeting our most vulnerable first and then categorizing priorities by age. Once those important steps are complete, we will re-evaluate our work and give the public a chance to have their voices heard with an online survey, which will be open for three weeks. We will then look at staffing levels, competencies, and required training for the vaccine rollout. Once staff have had the four weeks of training and been certified in vaccine storage, administration, and adverse reaction response, we will be having meetings to establish the paperwork and certification that vaccinated citizens will receive. We will then be able to establish a start date for mass vaccination of whoever is left.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t take life too seriously. Definitely don’t take that vaccine update seriously. It’s not real… just like the virus.

2. Don’t take Words of Wisdom seriously, especially that last one.

3. Remember the disclaimer.

Life goes on. Unfortunately, so does the virus. It’s still masks, distancing, and locking down. Take care of your mental health, your physical health and take care of each other. Share a funny blog post you read. Thanks for reading my February musings. Yes, my novel is still in the works and I will be sharing more of it here in the future. For now, it’s the ending jokes. Enjoy.

How bad was last year?

Rob Thomas just changed the name of his band to Matchbox Twenty-One.

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I had someone ask me, what is melena stool?

It’s dark tarry stool.

Ok. I thought it said Melania, like Melania Trump.

No, very different. One is human waste. The other is a sign of an upper GI bleed.