It’s here for you…Blog Post #42. Thank you to everyone who sent feedback on Blog Post #41. I’m glad most people enjoyed it. Let’s keep that going.

Sober January

How are you enjoying “Sober January”? …or as I call it, “No.”

Happy New Year

With a new year here, there’s always change. I’ve had to ask myself some tough questions:

What exactly is a Michelin star restaurant? Is it a place where you eat while they change your tires?

Roy. How many more times are you going to write 2018 on your patients’ healthcare documents when it’s clearly 2019?

Why won’t you eat octopus?

What photo are you going to put in Blog Post #42?

I took this photo in Glasgow, Scotland in an area called Kelvingrove. No, it’s not a painting.

Work

The new year has seen me change my position at Vancouver General Hospital. I’m now working in The Dementia Care Unit. Recently a co-worker came to the front desk and said, “I can’t remember what I came here for. I was going to look for something.”

Me, without hesitation, “Your room? It’s down the hall to your left. I’ll be down with your meds later.”

The octopus joke from Blog Post #41 was a hit. I’m glad people liked it. I don’t eat octopus because they’re amazingly smart. Too smart to eat. Do you know what an octopus does when it’s looking for work? It joins InkedIn. Now that’s smart. It also puts a lot of feelers out there to see if anything sticks.

The Financial Markets

If you’ve been reading from the beginning, you know this is the place to get up-to-date market news. Stocks and bonds are both down going into the trading week. Commodities hit an all time low that has Wall Street experts….ok maybe not.

The Market is down but what would you expect? With Senator Trumpatine trying to dissolve the Imperial Senate, the other star systems were never going to fall in line. The Trade Embargo has left people fleeing to Hoth to escape the Empire’s stranglehold. “Oh, I’m afraid the wall will be quite operational when the money arrives.”

Here’s the song on top of my playlist at the moment. “Buy yourself a dream and you’ll be a Happy Man. “……or woman.

Words of Wisdom

1. What a time to be alive. If you weren’t sure of the facts of life, this month has been a month for learning. January has seen the rise of two important educational movies; Bird Box and Bumble Bee. Releasing those movies at the same time is marketing genius. (Huh? I don’t get it.)

2. Be Careful with Expectations: Things in life don’t always go as we expectorate. Sometimes we are surprisatoad by things. No matter what we are anticipalating, it sometimes doesn’t go as we hope fortune. When that happens, we need to fungus on the good thimbles.

3. Songs can help you remember important things. Here’s a nursing jingle I’ve written for “The Book.” It goes “♫ Let me tell you ‘bout the turds and the pees and the needles and the bleeds….and a thing called gloves. ♫” (Oh, I get it now).

You Don’t Get It. It’s Ok.

So this blog was a great start to 2019….out there…..way out there. Don’t worry if you didn’t get it all. The important thing is that the octopi get it. They’re so smart. (Really? More octopus content?) Before this turns into an octopi love-in and full fledged cephalopod blog focused on this magnificent mollusk, it’s time for the ending joke. There’s only one because I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to write any more. Enjoy.

Britain’s separation from the European Union has been predicted to be an apocalyptic event and as such has recently been renamed, “Birdbrexit.” A lot of British people think the whole thing is a bunch of Sandra Bullocks.