It’s time….for Blog Post #39. Perhaps you’ve heard of an island in the Atlantic called Britain. It’s a relatively large island consisting of the countries of England, Scotland, and Wales. The Northern half of another island called Ireland also makes up Britain….or it doesn’t …or it does. It depends who you ask. Brexit will fix all that confusion anyway. For sixteen days last month, Britain became more. It became better, exciting, and a little extra special. For the sixteen days my wife and I were there touring around, it was GREAT Britain!

England

If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I’m never sarcastic and I’m not one to use clichés. The Queen was adamant that I show her country in a positive light and focus on its many wonderful qualities and that’s what I’m going to do. The Thames River in London was magnificent, a shade of brown that made it so very easy to spot the beluga whale pods. The busy river traffic and the many bridges did create a lively atmosphere that felt a bit like being in the middle of an action movie. It was disappointing not to see a speed boat chase with Bond barely escaping.

Pubs

“Is There a Pub Around Here?” says no one ever in London. You’re never far from a pub and I love that. The beer scene was fantastic. Low alcohol options with big taste could be found everywhere. The big beer companies still rule the day (or night) in England but small local microbreweries were visible and available in many establishments. I took this photo of the patio at Crate Brewing in east London.

Their beer was amazing and the sunny weather I asked for made for a great combination.

The Tube

Everyone travels transit in London. Affectionately nicknamed, The Tube, the London Subway system is a way of life for many people from all walks of life. I overheard someone speaking very casually about needing an hour and a half on The Tube with three station changes to get home from work every day. London is great but I’d pass on that kind of commute.

I went into The Tube station called ‘Waterloo’. I was then trapped and not able to find my way out despite the fact that I had a desire to leave.

Chips

“Would You Like Salad or Chips?” could be heard in none of the pubs in London. Everything comes with chips. Steak, chicken, burgers, potatoes ….it doesn’t matter. You get chips. I ate more chips (or French Fries as we call them in Canada) in my 16 days in Great Britain than in the past two years. I enjoy chips but c’mon….I’m getting chips with mashed potatoes and roasted potatoes? I’m not stranded on Mars!

Scotland

Aye, jolly ol’ Scotland. Did I try the haggis? I came across a guy selling haggis, “Get your haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep’s stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds!” I’d rather try the bugs on a stick in China, thanks. At least that doesn’t come with chips. I did do a Scottish whiskey tasting and can safely say, it’s not for me….it needed chips.

Edinburgh Castle

I enjoyed Edinburgh fully with its cobble stone streets and old historical buildings. One highlight was Edinburgh Castle which, being on top of a hill, offered great views of the city.

Choose Life

When we arrived in Edinburgh, “I didn’t feel sick yet but it was in the mail, that’s for sure. Too ill to sleep, too tired to stay awake, but the sickness was on its way”. I had burning with every swallow that not even beer could soothe. I had strep throat. So during my time in Edinburgh I was, in fact, Sick Roy. I was doing about as well as Tommy in Trainspotting 2. However, it soon passed and I was back to working out, running, and listening to Ziggy Pop.

Northern Ireland

Northern Ireland was a great experience and I really enjoyed the city of Belfast. I met with The King of the North and he was adamant that I show his country in a positive light and focus on its many wonderful qualities and that’s what I’m going to do. Belfast greeted us with this amazing scene. Insert your own leprechaun and pot of gold joke here:

I learned a lot about the history of Northern Ireland; how the Starks came to power, how important the wall is, and about the dragon-glass mines. I also learned that their parliament has not been functioning for over a year and a half. As one guy we spoke with said, “They are discussing having meetings to start having meetings again to see if they can start having meetings.” The Titanic was built in Belfast and the people are very proud of that fact. Belfast has the largest Titanic museum in the world. We all know it was ‘Ice’s’ fault that the Titanic sank.

Words of Wisdom

1. Be careful with Google. It can lead you astray. I wanted to see castles so I Googled ‘castles in Britain’. There are many. I looked at Google Maps a little closer and found that many of the them were actually bouncy castles. I am grateful that I didn’t do some hour-long trek only to find a bouncy castle. I would have been angrier than Gargamel watching The Blue Man Group.

2. Enjoy and appreciate good coffee when you can. Instant coffee is a thing in Britain. Why? It’s terrible. We did our best to make it work and grabbed good coffee when we could. For instance , we found some instants were better than other instants.

3. Always stick to your principles. I was asked to blog about The Super Bowl and I too have declined that invitation. #rihanna

That’s the briefest of overviews of our trip to the island of Britain (briefly known as Great Britain) for your reading pleasure. Disclaimer: It would be impossible to cover all the highlights and great things we saw in Britain in this blog. The people were great and the hospitality was amazing. Any ‘jokes’ are just that; jokes. If however you were offended by any of it, please send your complaints via telegram or carrier pigeon to Buckingham Palace urging Liz to take action.

It’s time for the ending jokes. Choose to Enjoy!

My wife asked me, “How big do you think Hyde Park is?” 

I said, “I don’t know. Guess!…..take a stab in the park.”

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I was asked what the highlight was from our trip to Britain. I said, “That’s easy. It was getting the chance to hang out with The Queen in London.”

“Wow, you met The Queen?”

“Met The Queen? I’ve been married to her for 11 years.”