It’s October and time for Blog Post # 25! I meant to write sooner but I forgot my Blog-In password. I can’t believe I forgot ‘royishilarious’. I continue to work on my writing and have a few different projects on the go. Thanks to everyone who connected with me on LinkedIn and gave me some advice…..still not really getting it. My photo for this blog is from Mexico.

No, this is not the wall that Trump promised separating Mexico from the United States, although that does look like Trump in the background. No, wait. That’s the evil eye of Sauron. Same thing.

It looks like I will begin writing for a Vancouver food blog after all. I’ve been welcomed to the team and am looking forward to trying some tasty food and passing the info on via photos and the written word. They’re a site that’s been around for a while but they’re in the process of revamping and adding more bloggers and content. I’ll share more as I know more but I’m not expecting I’ll have any articles coming up from them for some time.

I was published again last week. I wrote an opinion piece for my workplace (Vancouver Coastal Health) blog. It’s not for everyone but if you’re a healthcare worker or know someone who is, it may be of interest. It’s basically my thoughts on the future of healthcare and about sharing ideas on how to improve the system for everyone. You can read it here:

http://vchblogs.ca/took-vch-survey/

This month is my vacation from work. Before you say, “Hold on a sec’! Don’t you work part time and take 4 – 9 days off at a time?” Yes, yes I do. Usually, I take my vacation time in October and then travel to some amazing place. This year, I will be staying at home in Vancouver (also an amazing place) while hosting my cousin who will be visiting from Norway. This will be his first ever visit to North America. This will definitely cut into my writing time so I won’t have any new articles coming out for a while. I’m looking forward to a good staycation and wonder if a little Vancouver travel article might get started. I hope to do all the touristy things here in Vancouver, on Vancouver Island, and even Seattle that I have yet to do.

Preparing for Food Blogging

Recently, I’ve been in a lot of discussions about food and diet. For those who follow my blog, you know I’m a protein advocate. I was eating 160 – 180 grams of protein a day. I’ve cut that back to 135 – 160 grams a day due to recent research and the desire to have a bit more energy for running. It is very interesting what people think is “healthy.” Did you know, “if it has seafood or red meat in it, you shouldn’t eat it. It’s not good for you.” ? Did you also know that the healthiest people are vegans and vegetarians? I also learned that, “the ketogenic diet is the best thing for you.” Really? No wonder Trump won the US election. Fake news makes anything and everything possible. If you can make it up, you can make it true. Thanks Internet.

I was recently asked if I was a vegetarian.

I said, “No, I decided to be healthy instead.”

“Well, I’m a vegan. That’s healthy.”

“Nothankyoulations!”

Measure This

I came across something weird at a restaurant recently. The menu offered a case of chicken wings. What is that? It also offered quarts of beer.

”I’ll have a quart of ale and a truss of asparagus with my case of chicken wings. My friend would like a cord of French fries with a cup of ketchup and a demiard of beer. We can’t pay you now but I’ll write you a check for a dozen half-pieces that you can cash in a fortnight.”

Try reading that part again with a posh British accent.

Words of Wisdom

1. Even if you fail at something, remember to learn from your mistakes and let the lessons of being unsuccessful guide you to success. I was recently asked what the most important lesson is that I’ve learned since starting freelance writing. I said that success comes from being mistake free and meticulous with the details. Make sure your work is free of erorrs and typos.

Proof reading is just like the blood bank. You’re always looking for Type Os.

2. If you want someone to do you a favour, you’ve got to know how to ask properly….maybe offer to do them a favour in exchange. Always say, “please” and “thank you.” My wife has learned how to ask me for favours. One day she was struggling to open a jar. She was trying so hard, her face turned red, and finally she stopped and said, “Oh my god. Can you open this jar?”

“Now you’re learning to ask properly.”

Thanks to everyone who emailed me about the orgy joke. I’m glad you liked it. That was a 100% Roy-original that really came out of nowhere. My wife says it should go back there. For the ending joke this time, I’ve gone back to my tried and true: Star Wars. Enjoy.

My friend and I had a disagreement about ‘The Force Awakens’. He didn’t like it. He said it felt too much like “A New Hope”. He’s convinced the next movie will be just like “The Empire Strikes Back” with the wanna-be Jedi going to an isolated planet where the Jedi master has exiled himself, only to learn that a relative is the evil villain that needs to be faced. Then the third movie will be just like “Return of the Jedi” where the heroes need to rescued from a hoard of various muppets.
I said, “Ugh….you’re right. That’s not the worst part though. Then ten years later they’re going to digitally re-make and re-release the movies with a bunch of fraggles all over the place for no reason before making prequels about Kylo Ren’s childhood….ugh.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________

As an atheist, I do try to tread carefully in not offending. This joke may or may not offend….or even work.

Why is there no intelligent life on Mars?

1. Because Mars lacks prayer.

2. Because Mars doesn’t have any Believers.

3. Because Jesus is an only child and he wants to keep it that way.

4. Because God didn’t want to sacrifice another son.

5. Because God didn’t have another son.

6. Because God didn’t have another sun.

7. Because Bruno owns the naming rights and there’s no 24 Karat Magic in the air.