After some delays, barriers, and logistical issues, Blog Post #17 is finally here. April has been a crazy month and it has been difficult to sit down and do some writing. After my rant/blog post about not working full time, I’m currently working the equivalent of full time. My wife and I just returned from a great trip to Vancouver Island seeing friends and family. We enjoyed a crab feast at my parent’s place, checked out two new breweries, and attended my wife’s grandparent’s 70^th wedding anniversary. It was an honour to be there.

While not having time to write is not new and will always be an issue as long as I’m working as a nurse, working out, spending time with my wife, and travelling, I have had some other set-backs with writing. It has been a bit disappointing. One editor I had developed a rapport with has left her job. Another editor informed me that they’re scaling back business. It now feels like I’m starting all over again. Like my beloved Vancouver Canucks, it’s time for a rebuild. I do have an article coming out next month on renting in Vancouver. It can be quite a challenge as prices continue to climb. It’s no secret that I love living in this city. Apparently, I’m not the only one.

Food : As mentioned my wife and I enjoyed a great crab feast on Vancouver Island. It was clawesome! Currently, I have a sinus infection so I’m also enjoying regular warm oysters (if you don’t get that, I apologize) (if you get that, I apologize). I recently saw an ad that said ‘Free-Range Eggs’ because we all know eggs need the freedom to roll around and that walls can be detrimental to the well being of eggs. Eggs are amazingly healthy and delicious. They’re a staple of my diet. In Mexico, we made eggs every single day. Eggs are about 70 calories with 6-8 grams of protein and 5 grams of fat. It’s a near-perfect food. What did come first, the chicken or the egg? It was the egg. God made them to feed the animals. She then hid some so they could become chickens…..and that’s how hiding eggs became an Easter thing!

Here are some recent health tips I’ve come across and I thought I’d pass on…partly for amusement (not necessarily ones I’m advocating):

1. Don’t buy the KFC Family Pack without a family.
2. McDonalds are going to deliver….obesity, heart disease, and strokes….directly to your door. Skip!
3. Aspartame is natural. What?! ….well nothing is actually artificial. Honey is natural as it’s made by bees. Aspartame is  natural as it’s made by humans. Humans are part of nature. That being said, don’t eat or drink anything with aspartame. (I will write about my experience with aspartame in a future blog post).

Thanks for reading my rantings and supporting my blog. As usual, it’s the original ending jokes. I had selected a great joke but my wife informed me that it may possibly offend. So, I’ve gone with these ones instead….which may also offend. Know this: I love working in geriatrics. They have so much to teach us and their sense of humour can be show-stopping. Enjoy!

I had a patient who was 98 years old. She looked amazingly well for 98 and being admitted to hospital. I said to her, “You’re 98? Looking pretty good.”

She replied, “Yeah. It’s my dream to make it to 104 and be killed by a jealous wife!”

I laughed, “That’s awesome!”

She then asked, “What are you doing after work? 😉 ”

😮

*Events have been altered and names have been changed to protect privacy and avoid embarrassment.

My grandparents are not very good with technology. When my wife and I wanted new cell phones, we waited until my grandparents decided to get new cell phones. Then we told them to get the best, most expensive, and latest phones possible. They’re the only ones that will work. So once they got their Google super phones, they asked us how to text and we told them,

“Write a message in the phone, then place the phones in a bubble wrap envelope and mail them to us. That’s how you text.”

Now we have new Google phones.

*The following is exaggerated, made up, altered, and not a reflection of real nursing care. Have a sense of humour before proceeding.

I took a course on improving nursing care. The instructor asked us questions (remember the ‘Have you been to a birth?’ question). That’s a mistake.

Instructor: Can anyone give an example of how knowing what a person with dementia was like before their disease helped with their care?

Person #1: We had a woman in long term care who used to be a housecleaner. We gave her a mop and she was happy to clean the hallways. She would sing and clean.

Instructor: Great example. Any other examples?

Person #2 There was a gentleman with Alzheimer’s who used to work in a care home. On evening shifts, we would have him help us set up the towels and facecloths for the next morning. He didn’t need to be shown where things went or how it was to be done. He just knew it and did it.

Instructor: Good. Roy, do you have an example?

Me: I was working with a former football player who had dementia. One day I just ran down the hall and tackled him into the linens. He stayed down for a while. I stood and taunted him for a bit, “Get Up! This is my house!” Oh, and there was another time when I took care of a former kick-boxer……