Writing the Wrongs

Can you believe? It’s Blog Post #16! It’s been quite the journey to becoming a writer. Have you seen the updates on the site? Click on the Menu. I added Photography and updated the About page. I’m not a photographer but some of my photos have been included in my written pieces so I thought I’d showcase them in one location. This week saw another article published with City Mash Vancouver as I explore the need for diners to keep tipping in local restaurants. Check it out here: https://www.citymash.com/vancouver/2017/03/23/why-vancouver-diners-need-to-keep-the-tipping-culture/

It’s a hot button issue that not everyone agrees on, so I thought I’d write about it and settle the issue once and for all. Being that I’m never wrong, my authority should be unquestioned! In reality, the opposite is true. I’m wrong, you’re wrong, we’re all wrong….a lot. It’s part of being human. I recently had someone at work say, “If you do your research, you’ll find that you’re wrong!” Wouldn’t it be nice to tell people what you really think….to say what you really want to say? That’s what your blog is for. “I may very well be wrong. I’ve been wrong before. I’ll be wrong again. I’m not afraid to be wrong or mistaken. I’ll accept those consequences. If it turns out I’m mistaken, I’ll acknowledge it, apologize as appropriate, and move on to my next mistake.” I spoke with a higher level of management and it turns out, I was right….unless they were wrong? I remember being wrong more than I remember being right which is apparently an important survival mechanism. I was wrong, there is a heard of lions behind that tree. Good thing I run faster than Dinkenesh:). or I was wrong, there are wampas out here. Good thing I have a light sabre, tauntauns are warm inside, and wampas can put stars on Christmas trees when their teeth are removed. I should probably explain the last few sentences but I won’t. I will, however, point out that I first wrote about writing and then wrote about wronging. Let the fun continue…

Run Roy Run

For us who are on the west coast of Canada, it has been a particularly long and harsh winter. Only now does it look to be that Spring may start springing. The long Winterfell-like winter here on Hoth has limited my outdoor activities and kept me to more indoor endeavours. It’s now time to get back out there and get running. Running is an interesting conundrum for us humans. We’re actually not that good at it. It can cause injury, muscle reduction, and, some say, increase our rate of aging. So why do it, Roy? First, I don’t do it a lot, only 2-3 times a week. I try to mix up the pace with interval running, sprinting, jogging, and walking. Walking is definitely something we, as humans, are good at. I run because it helps me in so many aspects of life. I find it mentally de-stressing and rejuvenating. I use it for weight management and cardiovascular fitness. I enjoy the feeling of being fit enough to run….not something everyone can say. I have no plans to run a race (5km, 10km half-marathon etc.) but instead just to put on my headphones, listen to music, and go. It’s not my life or passion but more of a tool (one of many) that helps keep me fit and healthy.

The feedback on Blog Post#15 was that I was a bit mean to my wife in the ending jokes. It’s really just part of our banter. I’m not saying that I’m sarcastic but if I entered, So You Think You Can Sarcasm, they’d likely insist I be tested for performance-enhancing drugs. My wife knows this and there are enough good laughs to keep her from leaving because Odin knows she doesn’t always get my jokes. So with that I end with a joke where the tables are turned. Enjoy.

My wife showed me her hand and said, “I’ve got a little wart here on the side.”

I said, “Ewwww. You’re warty!”

She replied, “Of course I am. I’ve been kissing a frog for years.”

Actually, I think it was the other way around and it was my wart and I said I’ve been kissing a frog for years. The details are a little hazy.

 

Mexico Moderation

It’s Blog Post #15, the post vacation edition. My wife and I had a great trip to Mexico last week. No Peña Nieto talk, just food, beer, and shopping. We enjoyed the beach, the markets, and the sight-seeing. Although we drank too much beer, I found time to get my leg workout in. I also found a decrepit rooftop gym to complete an upper body strength session. When life gives you lemons, they say you should make lemonade. When life gives you limes, you open a Corona or five. The real lemon is Corona (sorry, Corona fans) so the lemon and limes went together well. We did find some delicious Mexican craft beer from Colimita Brewing (Colima, Guadalajara) at 5 times the price of Corona and Pacifico. It was worth it. We spent only six days in Mexico but it was the right amount of time for us. When you love where you live and the life you’ve created, it’s easy to return home from vacation.

Mexico

We stayed in a cheap seaside town called Rincon De Guayabitos (Rincon: The Guy Who Beat Us). It’s named for Rincon who raced to the best bay in the area. The next town over is Raul y Hugo De Guaysacamisegundo (Raul and Hugo: The Guys Who Came Second). We took a day trip to Sayulita (named for the woman who found a better, more-surfable beach than Rincon, Raul, or Hugo). Sayulita is a tourist town with construction everywhere. The latest urban development is called Gringo Hill (not a joke). Our restaurant server at Wanda’s proudly stated, “Everything is %80 more expensive here than in Guayabitos!” On this cloudy day in Sayulita My wife and I ordered the delicious Colima Pale Ale (Panamo) while my mother-in law ordered “Sol”. The server was awesome and said, “we don’t have that….as you can see. I don’t have the power to get that for you.” May need to explain that Sol is a Mexican beer and also the word for sun in Spanish.

Sayulita

It was a busy eventful day in Sayulita. There was construction on the main road entering the town causing traffic chaos. There was a large political rally for what we believe was a mayoral candidate. There was also a huge funeral procession where hundreds of people were following an SUV with a coffin throughout the town. The only thing missing was sunshine, although it was plenty warm.

Sitting at a roadside bar (The Sayulita Public House), we observed two ‘gringo’ women trying to parallel park their golf cart. They had the room to park a semi but somehow managed to look like Austin Powers doing his three point turn. As the women drove away laughing at their failed attempt to park, we thanked them for the entertainment. A short while later, they returned. One of the women, looking at the huge group of people gathered at the church, asked us, “Is that a wedding or a funeral?” My wife responded, “It’s a funeral.” I added, “It was tragic. The person tried to parallel park a golf cart and didn’t make it.” And we laughed …and laughed.

Moderation

I was recently asked how I could work out and promote health while writing about beer and drinking. It’s because I believe health is about moderation. Beer and wine have been around forever. Millions of people enjoy it. While not my thing, liqueurs and spirits have been enjoyed by generations of people. This is true of chocolate, ice cream, butter, and baked goods. Some of the longest lived people enjoy wine on a daily basis. The point is life should be healthy while also enjoyed. There’s a balance that I believe in and have built my life around. I think about what my tombstone would say (although I don’t want a tombstone). Cremate me.

Roy Mundheim: He deprived himself of everything he enjoyed so he could be his healthiest.

Or

Roy Mundheim: He overindulged on everything he enjoyed and let his health go.

Or

Roy Mundheim: Enjoyed life

 

It’s the ending jokes. I told my wife recently that I wrote a joke.

She asked, “Is it bad?”

I replied, “I don’t write bad jokes!”

And we laughed….and laughed.

So with that, I make fun of my wife (Don’t worry, she says she’s not offended. People from Sweden however….). Enjoy.

 

Wife (who is part Swedish): “It’s cold outside.”

Me (Norwegian): “I’m just going to wear my sweater.”

Wife: “You should wear a coat. I’m wearing a coat.”

Me: “That’s you. You come from people who stay in their warm houses while Nazis walk uncontested through their land. I come from people who resisted tyranny, were bombed by the Germans, and fought the fight keeping hard water from getting into the hands of evil!”

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 Wife: “I saw two eagles walking to work yesterday.”

Me: “How do you know they weren’t going to the movies or something?”

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 In Mexico last week….

I was sitting by the pool at the hotel getting eaten alive by bugs. I got out of my chair.

My wife asked, “Are you going upstairs to get Off?”