Finally. It’s Blog Post #13. After working on a number of other writing projects, I’m finally back to my love and passion; this crazy, ridiculous blog. I’ve been told that I should name my blog….something other than Roy G. Mundheim, Freelance Writer. I’m hoping a few people out there might help me. Email me and tell me which of these names I should go with:

1. Writer Roy, Write or Roy, Right or Wroy
2. HellthRoy (kinda like Hellboy but more funny while a little more pale and not as good looking)
3. StarRoy (as sung by The Week’nd)

I am also looking for a slogan for my blog/site but it needs a bit of work. Suggestions are also welcome on this one.

Health: The joke is at the end.

Health: The end is the funny part.

The Healthy Life: You’ll laugh at the end.

Congratulations! You have a healthy Roy.

Failing to Fail

As mentioned, I’ve been busy writing the last while. Unfortunately, it’s been mostly fruitless attempts to email editors and contacts for publishing writing or pitching ideas. Caffeine, which makes living among other humans possible, has been the fuel needed to persevere. I wrote a review of a concert I went to (Big Wreck) and found no takers….not even as a free finished piece complete with photos. It’s been a lot of dead ends and rejection. Even my article on travelling in China met rejection and silence before finally being picked up by Wicked Travel Tips.

http://www.wickedgoodtraveltips.com/2017/01/city-hopping-in-eastern-china-two-weeks-one-amazing-trip/

However despite the tough times, I have had a piece I wrote on beer accepted for publication with a Vancouver online magazine at the end of the month. I look forward to sharing it with you in my next blog post.

With all that failure I just wrote about, it’s pretty amazing that I keep doing this writing thing. Failure and the fear of failure can be very paralyzing. In recent years, there has been a lot of teaching and research into the concept of failure. It’s no longer perceived as such a bad or shameful thing. It is, in fact, very very human. To fail, we must be trying, reaching, pursuing, and if done right, learning.

It took me a long time to start this blog. I hesitated, I procrastinated, I doubted. Even now as I write my thirteenth blog post, it would be easy to call it a failure. I don’t have the one billion views that I expected or is needed to call this a success. The doubt and hesitation we have when stepping out of our comfort zone and putting ourselves out there is quite natural. It’s our brain protecting us from embarrassment, loss, ridicule, disappointment; i.e. failure. However, without taking that risk, we never realize what is possible for ourselves. Perhaps if we look at failure as a more positive concept, it will become easier to attempt things out of our comfort zone, to reach for new heights. Even as I write this, I have just sent an article to an editor who could easily tell me, “I can’t use this. It’s crap.” What will I do if that’s the response? Will I learn, grow, give up, or ignore? I could be like Marky Mark and say, “I don’t give a funky bunch!” or I could get back to the drawing board. I’m afraid.

On a side note, I don’t believe that reaching and striving for huge goals equals any more happiness than anyone who is more content in what they’re doing on a day to day basis. Happiness for me comes from within and appreciating what I have and can do….not necessarily from seeking achievement.

Health Tips

Here are some recent health tips I’ve come across and I thought I’d pass on…partly for amusement (not necessarily ones I’m advocating):

1. Never work overtime day shift after a night shift (working more than 12 hours in a row). You’ll become more forgetful than Dory on Jeopardy with Alan Trebek.
2. The best way to keep going when you’re really tired is to drink expresso.
3. Drinking coffee without caffeine is as pointless as beer without alcohol, cell phones without internet, and jobs that don’t pay.
4. More fresh vegetables. Less fresh fentanyl.

Choose the ones that work for you in your life and leave the rest.

Here’s the usual ending amusement… or jokes if you will. The third and last one requires some knowledge of nursing care. However, too much knowledge means that you’ll know there’s a much dirtier version of that joke (dirty as in disgusting) that I chose not to put on here. Sometimes I have to keep it clean. Enjoy.

I’m excited to announce I will be writing an extensive review on a series of new wines coming out soon. Here is a sample of some of the work I’ve done so far: 

Coming out in 2017, this delicious Pregno – Noir actually increases your chances of conceiving. Containing progesterone and estrogen with a moderate amount of alcohol (to keep your baby just a little buzzed at conception), this wine will help you grow your family: Gullible 2016, available at all local liquor stores.

A delicious blend of Merlot and Cabernet Savignon, this 2016 wine has just 35 calories per bottle. It fits nicely into any weight loss program. Delusion Mer-low Cal 2016 is available at all local liquor stores and all grocery stores in the country.

After the success of Wayne Gretzky Wine and Kevin O’Leary Wine, Donald Trump has entered the wine market. With grapes picked by the finest grape pickers in the land, this wine has a sense of superiority in its taste and labelling. Nobody makes wine better than Donald. Believe him! This wine is best when cellared in underground tunnels and bunkers. Unfortunately, there are no reds or rosès. Whites only.

___________________________________________________________ _____

“I love Hotline Bling by Drake”

“The original is better.”

“The original?”

“♫You used to, used to…You used to call me on my land line…. ♫”

 _________________________________________________________

 Nurse: “I checked on the patient and he was painting furiously on everything. He was painting pictures on the walls, on the table, and even on himself. Doctor, what should I do?”

Doctor: “Don’t worry about it. He’ll be fine. He’s just having an art attack.”