Here it is! My second blog post. Prior to starting this blog and beginning to get into writing, I researched a lot of websites that explained how to become a writer. Many sites stated “START A BLOG” …so that’s what I’ve done. Several sites told me to blog every day. Blog every day? Who has time for that? That’s like a nurse showering all their six bed bound patients on a busy night shift….no nurse has time for that. Blog every day? I don’t think the internet horde is going to like that. My wife loves me and even she doesn’t want to hear from me every day. Once a month-ish seems more fitting.

It’s been a busy last couple of weeks. I had a story (my first) published by the website, The Mighty Nurse. Go to Published Work on the Menu and it’ll take you to my story. The punctuation was there when I sent it to them but somehow got lost in the posting. I’m still pleased with how it turned out and the responses it has gotten.

As exciting as my first published article was, it has also been a difficult time. My wife and I had to put down our cat, Misha May, whom had been with us for ten years. She was 11. I thought I would be ready. As a hospice nurse, I’ve seen the death of people and the immediate grief that follows from those left behind. Many years ago my very close friend died suddenly at age 31. I cried so much that day that my eyes remained blood shot for a week. How could I not be ready for the death of my cat? Pets simply don’t live as long as humans so we should all be prepared. I was not.

Misha May had been such a big part of our lives, our everyday lives, for such a long time. I should have known it would affect me significantly. After her death and the grief and pain that followed, I got to thinking about transitions. This is unquestionably a transition for my wife and I. She fed the cat every day. Misha was very vocal so we talked to her every day. Vet visits, brushings, litter box cleaning, hanging out together on the couch….she was so much more of our lives than I ever realized.

Transitions are often not all that easy…especially when forced upon us. In nursing school we covered transitions and with that looked at the concept of resilience. Resilience, our ability to cope and adapt, is a huge indicator of how our transition will go. When Misha initially died, I searched the internet to better understand the condition she had. However I soon realized that this was mal-adaptive and did not really serve a purpose. I needed to find a way to cope and transition.

I knew that living in the past and replaying “what-ifs” in my mind was not productive. I then chose to research and read stories of other people losing their pets. I found comfort in their words. I felt connected and not alone in my grief. From that I started to celebrate the amazing ten years we had with our beloved Misha. Looking at her life as whole allowed me to discover that it was worth every moment and that the sad end was such a short snippet of all she gave us and the time we had.

Change and transition is going to happen whether we’re ready or not…and even if we do nothing. “I change by not changing at all” – Eddie Vedder. With each experience like this that I have, I feel that my tool box of coping has another tool. My resiliency increases with each tool I gain and with each experience I can reference back to for healthy coping when change comes.

During this difficult past couple of weeks, I was unable to create an original joke to end this blog post. Instead, I’ve decided to steal a joke from my 6 year old nephew with my own tweak. Enjoy

Why did the banana call for the nurse?

Because it wasn’t peeling well.